~fReSh~

Be positive...

2011-03-01T23:02:00.002+08:00

I hope i will be positive...

things does not come my way.. Really full of downs... I realize I wonder... I am confused..

I hope someone telling me why...

I hope she bring the lights to me but she didnt..

Am I not that important and Am i actually being taken for granted.. I just hope to gain some respect and be treat better.. but am i being a fool again???

Am i being too close to you that u taken for granted to release all your unhapppiness to me.. or actually is me that cause u all the stress that u hardly put a smile to me..

While your main priority is just always him.. While i am just little potato to run all the chaos and just part of your pieces u use.. Am I???

I hope not.. or i shall said i wish u said NOT..

Tears had come enough.. Please do not flood once more...

Career and Humanity

2010-11-07T14:01:00.002+08:00

A few post about my past.. maybe a post on my current and future...

Hahaha.. i also dunno..

actually there is really to post here.. But pro and cons.. as they will lots to reflect back once i post.. Do i really wan to reflect myself to look at the reality that i am trying to hide.

Unanswered..

Anyway.. my current career... really a big change.. I do not know correct or wrong.. nor there is an opportunity for me to look back or stop and consider..

I always think not to think much and go on.. cause i know there is so much there is pulling me back and not letting me a chance to consider a yes or no.. Cause i am not willing to be force to that extreme..

And i know if i do.. A "NO" i hurt plenty of people.. I hurt myself and yet the one that i always hope I not too.. "Her"..

But this does not stop from thinking what i am really doing.. I try very hard to get the answer i cant. I try find the answer from my boss my superior.. but unfortunately.. and most surprise.. no answer from them.. They also DUNNO.. So does that mean a real problem!!! I really do not want to answer.. I am hopeless..

Things are challenging here in my career.. i am not sure whether am i just working or building a career or am i put everything on table to gamble...I have nno idea.. I obviously know i am LOSt.. Lost with no returns..

Working environment changess, working authorities and working pattern change.. More and more i realize is not who i am.. or what and who i wish i am.. Environment and social impact.. I need to adapt to survive.. I do not like myself to be like that.. I hope i can be myself.. but things are telling me i cant... Everyday to work, is like putting ur mask..

Really different, work with her i feel so relax and i can be myself.. but to work with him.. I jsut need to pretend and continue pretending to be someone he want me to be.. And for a simple reason, i need to continue waht i am doing was because i need to do it for her as she need to rely on him..

So, there is no more excuses to be argue but to be what it is...

She have faith on me.. She help me a lot.. She teach me a lot.. and think highly on me.. If i ever fall I know she will be deeply saddened and upset.. So how can i hurt her even once!!!

Delifrance Malaysia

2010-11-07T13:26:00.003+08:00

It had been about half a year that i left this place... But unfortunately the pain does not heal yet till today... and i am going to put this down here hoping that i will put down this as how i put down them in letter here...

A place that i serve the longest at this moment of my career... A place that i learn a lot.. learn to be aggresive, learn about politics, learn from real colleagues.. Learn about different area of work, learn about respect and learn about craps that all around..

Most important the last few months i left, i learn about how real politics can be and how peope react against power and humanity.. What kind of people... who is really good to you and who is really fake to you.. all is out.. Hoe they treat me like a theft.. How they push me in the room and question you?? And how i survive without the big tree - my superior that reallly appreciate me and never take me for granted.. all really give me a big impact..

Never expect can be so realistic... And no humanity.. How they treat old staff and people that really work day and night for them.. Is all count nothing.. at the end,I just leave like a theft..

And how miserable a higher position personnel need to leave the subordinate behind.. How heavy heart... I just cant imagine.. Me only with 3 musketeers with me.. I have such a heavy heart.. Tears just keep hunting me.. But thanks to this bunch that always by my side to cherish me throught the day and make my day easier..

What a big mistake!!

2010-11-07T13:13:00.002+08:00

Reading the last two blog that i had here.. make me realize it is actually such a big mistake of me to have my biggest concern about you. Reading the blog on how sorry i was to concern and worry how do i tell you that i am leaving.. is really such a big mistake..

After i left and after so many months and finally the reality is out.. Now it make me understand your messenger message should i leave or stay.. I always thought u are the innocent one and i felt so sorry bout you.. but unluckily.. I was wrong.. I was the fool again.. I just didnt realize u kept such a big secret behind.. and most importantly.. I take ur words so heavily and hold dearly that u mean it. But everything just throw to my face that u really really take me for granted...

What hurt me most.. not the politics or tactics that u ever use to survive in the office or your position.. but is the way u take granted of our friendship.. It really really hurts..

A person that highly engraved with friendship ever tag up with someone that take friendship is nothing but more of a tool to secure your own position...

I am even that fool to choose to believe you and ended up not believe my own superior.. protected u in front of my own superior that always stand by me and belief me... I choose to believe you rather than her... What a big fool!!! I am really wrong and u are the one that proof me wrong!!

Is really cruel of you this young lady... You tear off our friendship... for once and more!!!!

Should i Stay or Leave??

2010-02-06T23:23:00.002+08:00

I am so sorry to read this statement on your messenger..

I even not dare to click on you to talk about this issue. I hope i can tell you everything but unfortunately I cant. Really a big burden on me.. From early stage i start thinking how should i talk to you about this.

In term of our friendship i should tell you, in term of professionalism, I should not.. It is such a big dillemma on me. I really dunno how to react to this. I really hope you can understand my dillemma.

I have try my best to reduce the damage or burden as much as I can. You may not know What i have done for you behind.. is not important but as long as I can help as much i can.. And I sure will.. But there is too many things uncontrollable by me.. No right for me to interfere certain things..

And i am still waiting the day that i can tell you everything.. But just that i do not know, if u still treat me as your fren on that day. you may thought i am cruel to you, and not helping by informing you earlier so that u can start preparing.. But i really really cant say much.. As i know i always being taken granted by you.. And this time, I cant do the same fool things as the impact is too big that dragging in too many issue behind that not only me....

Biggest sorry from me to you.... I hope we are still friends..

Heavy Heart

2010-01-31T23:14:00.002+08:00

Heavy feeling at this very moment.

Although I am well prepare for the day, but to my surprise, i have a heavy feeling heading towards the day..

There are so many things on my burden that I heavily to let down.. People around me, buddies around me, work around me, and lots more..
I miss prettymuch things. But it is always difficult to make the first move. It really leave me with a lot of memories and lot of ups and downs. Tears that i have, laughter that i share, systems that had been work out properly, knowledge that given to me.. That i hope I will not leave behind.

After tomorrow, the countdown will start pretty fast.. and the real character of people will immediately appear and my feeling will be more and more mixed up.. And my days ahead are really unpredictable. It will be more challenge and more heavy for days to come..

I wish I can tell but unfortunately I cant.. This is not the way I like it to be but I need to follow the flow as it goes..

I hope the days ahead can be less challenge and easier for me to go thru...... Looking forward to end of the March..

I can be the real ME...

Not a fool again...

2010-01-31T23:03:00.003+08:00

I ask myself once again... Am i a fool again...

Why should I?? Why me again??

I am tired.. Obviously I am... And I am so unlikely to be taken for granted once again.

People around me had been telling me, but i choose not to believe... and continue believe what u said is always true.
But again and again, I realize I had been a fool. I am upset.. REALLY upset.. I loook really stupid.. I am feeling so dumb.

Someone came to me, telling that I am someone only believe what that person tell me no matter what others told me.., Agree I am.. And this someone told me that I am not a fool but i am just not as cunning as some poeple out there is.

Do i choose to be a fool or to be a cheeky person.??

Unfortunately, till now i still wanted to be a fool in trusting that person and finding excuses as this person is not so cunning and fake as what I believe she is...

Why should i be that dumb?? No idea.. but i just rather not believing the truth... It hurts......

Finally...

2010-01-28T23:51:00.002+08:00

Battle Start... I cant reveal.. I cant be sincere.. I cant be what I am..

What will I be..... I have no idea....

I start to be tired although I have not start fighting.. but I am pretty confuse..

Confuse..confuse and more confuse...

Human

2008-03-16T18:01:00.002+08:00

Say Also Don’t Listen,

Listen Also Don’t Understand,

Not understand Also Don’t Ask,

Ask Also Don’t Do,

Do Also Do Wrong,

Wrong Also Don’t Admit,

Admit Also Don’t Correct,

Correct Also Not Happy,

Not Happy Also Don’t Say!

Untitled

2007-09-08T23:47:00.000+08:00

Have been some time do not have this strong kind of feeling for blogging at this time. I guess the happenings around, the feelings and no attractions from the bed and the television that caught my attention away but to log in here to jot my words..

Feeling the blog should be untitle.. as i do not have the major topic i am writing about.. but jus about feelings. The feelings tonight seem to be silent, peaceful,relaxing and cooling!

Feeling sad.. feeling miss.. A close friend which our friendship have some cracks a year ago.. recently we solve and mend the hole.. but the time is short that it is time to say goodbye.. tomorrow she will be leaving, leaving for 3 years.. and we just met and bid farewell to each other. Although knowing that we will still keep in touch.. But there is realy a miss feeling. dunno why! Argh.. jus hate the feeling.

Maybe as grow older..i learn to appreciate relationship better. Feel that relationship cant be replace with any value. but only the value of heart. Trustworthy, concern, comfort and believe need so much time to built but cracks in relationship just need an accident or a single moment. But how many people really know or really believe in it. Sometimes jus feel maybe i believing myself or i will say i believe or trusting in a wrong way or time. I feel i am appreaciating more and more.. but people around me are making me lost of hopes!!!

I need the faith on me to continue believing.. One by one people leaving and one by one people who can be talk missing from the sight. Sometimes it feel that no longer want to talk more.But the thing to be proud, i guess i make big advancement by being enough positive. No longer crying alone, no longer waiting and looking forward for hopes.. But learnt accept it in the way it comes and tell myself about the fate of today and the changes that i must learn to accept and grow with!

Life seem better.. no more burden of desperate feeling.

But in the future, i can foresee myself standing very behind.. so far from others.. guess because i am more to a sentimental person who believe more in feeling rather than being ambitious. People at my age, all having plans for the future, all motivating themselves to earn more, to built a strong future and a strong financial. but the little mind of me.. still enjoying playing up and down, hide and seek. Not thinking further but jus work for the environment and the situation that i need to. Or searching for the experiences and things that i should learn and brush my skills on.. to be more educated in that field.

Perceptions, mind thinking.. getting more and more different from the others.. Feeling more and more akward to myself from the others. Is it the matter of myself being different or i am not up to the level.. Haha.. but i do not hope myself to be that way. Cause i guess people seem fighting for what they want, going ahead, but miss out the importance of living. But it is all depending on what is important in each life.. Someone find love, someone find money.. someone may find reputation, and someone may find abstract..hahaha.. But it much depend on how people define life.. how they want their life to be.. full of memories, full of happiness, full of gratitude, full of cherish moment or full of thigns to regret at the end of life!

Sooner i guess i will be a stranger. I am getting more and more not understand people ard me and how people not understand me. But sometimes it hurts so much when u found someone who really close with you, u found it seem so strange with him/her.. and it seem u no longer understand this person.. And this really make me in tears on the moment i found i no longer know this close friend of mine... i dun understand why i have tears.. but i did. the imporatnce that i see no longer be important to the others.. while the importance for the others i cant see the importance to me..

But i guess is the adapting process that i need to be in the society..

Malaysia Food festival

2007-09-02T16:13:00.000+08:00

It is amazing to see how they manage to built up a hut by using different variety of fruits. FRuits ground, fruits hut, fruits door and etc..

It is all about fruits

Pet tree

2007-09-02T15:39:00.000+08:00

It is really a spoilt of mood.
A strong wind that blow the window and hit hardly which cause a 2 months plus old pet tree of mine missing and no longer to be seen. Searching up and downs, not even a single crack of glass i found.. but i just found nothing.. and the only thing i found is the left over! The left over of the phone strap from the bottle.

It sad and It really hurts me.. Jus a few seconds and it is missing. This morning i still having my sweet time watering the pet tree. I think i am really not into having pets.. It reminds me of having the hamster pet as a birthday gift.. and the hamster just died the night i bring it home. And now it happen once again.. Just a little pet tree, i dun even manage to take care of it.. and it just went missing.

A simple pet tree but yet it mean a lot to me. A pet tree that i bought and start keeping it as a habit to grow it when i was at a down period and a pet tree that i bought it together for a friend and see who grow better.. But it ended up sadly for me.. Maybe i really no longer suitable to take up anything as a pet. Just aS my aunt said.. the pet tree missing maybe it being some meaning behind that the pet tree is no longer suitable to be keep by me.

How sad it is!!! What it left!!!!

Problems.. virus spreading

2007-07-21T09:46:00.000+08:00

There are so many close peoples around me that are in a dillemma recently. Feeling unhappy and sad but i just cannot get to help them with anything. Feel that am i being too busy that i have neglected them or i just didnt realize of that. I do not know. But i jus feel that i am helpless.. Seem that i cant help them with anything. Not even lending them my pair of ears. A simple sorry seem so little to say for so much.. Feeling pretty awful.

When we grow up we tend to have a bigger aspects of problems.. from life, love, works, relationship and responsibilities. Everyone may have their own problems that hardly to be resolve.

Some people look into problems with real positive attitude. Problems that is big can be small little tiny things that he/she can go through and being another happy real he/she and face life.

Some people have problems but they choose to hide it deep inside their heart, lock it and never reveal and pretend a happy go lucky person as they are.

Some people have problems, they cant find the solution but choose to run away from the situation, forget about the blues and then back to the reality.

Some peoples have problems, they choose to blurt everything out, release everything out to others although it does not help but it give comfort to the person at that moment.

Some peoples have problems, they choose to be alone, really think into the situation and make a decision. No matter the situation get better or not, it have a solution and gotta bear with the pros and cons.

Some people have problems, they tend to think very negatively, think that it is end of the world and nothing mean of worth living.

No matter what kind of peoples you are, how you deal with problems... Actually more of depending on how you look into the problems. Look at it at the bright side, look into it with no fear, and always look the problems from the other perspective of life, it will give another different view.

To all my dearest friends, just pray and hope that everyone will get to find a solution to their problems soon and free yourself from the dillemma. Cheer up to all of you. Jia you jia you jia you.

Face everything without fear, supports and lucks will always be with u gals....

Just something to share

2007-07-14T18:10:00.000+08:00

This quote catch my mind and my attractions on this friday morning. Was sitting there quietly and waiting for the meeting.. and jus keep entertaining myself looking at the billboard.. and suddenly this quote sound like this poped up the screen...

"The guys take frienship like a football game, kicking it here and there but it never breaks, but the gals take friendship like a glass and it broken into pieces"

I do not know how true is there.. but i actually havent realize of that until i read across this quote.. And it seem to be pretty true and close to the reality.. Thats the different perception between the male and females in defining friendship and the importance of it.

2007-07-07T17:27:00.000+08:00

A special day of the year 070707

Every year on this date will be a celebration since there these twins sis birthday.. but this year it mean much more.. when it come to such a special date where it fall on the year of 2007.. so we got this 070707.. Anyway, beside this twins it is also my ex hsemate bday.. Kidda found this special date have really lotsa people birthday..

Therefore this year, many couple had chosen this date as a wedding day. since it seem so special to be unforgettable.. While these twins also chosen their celebration to give themselves a holidays. So, cant get to have a birthday celebration with them on this date but postpone it. But do wish these three friends of mine to have their own happy and an unforgettable birtdhay on this date.

Somehow, for me this is a special day too.. It become special when my parents and bros and i decided to go for a movie together.. Actually it is jus a simple things. but it seem mean so much as my family rarely together to go sumwhere or do something.. especially during weekend we hardly see all at home where everyone is busy with their own outing.. But we suddenly came to a suggestion to take dad for Die hard 4 movie.. then bro jus said good idea and lets go along .. and most unbelievable, mum as usual wil not go no matter how hard we pressure or force her.. but i guess she also think it is a very good precious moment where the whole family is goin.. although she not interested at all with the movie.. she decided to come along. So, i guess today will be a very special day where our family get together for a movie.

Dedicated to my true friends

2007-06-24T00:26:00.000+08:00

“The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that they can grow separately without growing apart.”

Out of the busy time

2007-06-23T23:43:00.000+08:00

Everyone have their busy time.. Too eager into our works and our priorities with other things.. Neglected many of our close ones.. But once we slow down and have a look around us. We will found lotsa that we had lost.. and We will start to realize the importance of the lost and start appreciating..

I do not know.. but this three months when i am slowing down and dealing with a free an easy lifestyle.. i found i miss out a lots.. I saw lotsa things that have lost, the things i have neglected, i miss the peoples i have neglect and the change that i didnt realize. Besides me, i saw the reflection of others.. When peoples are busy with their works or things to do, busy with their priorities, we will slowly see the importance of time and the treasure of it..

Once a while, we should at least stop at the interception and look around, we may not realize how much we have lost until we slow down our movements and look around the pathway.

My dad is stronger than yours

2007-06-23T23:10:00.000+08:00

An event that coincident join by me and friends in occasion of Father's Day at Sunway Lagoon organised by RedFm. A treasure hunt cum amazing race type of competition that participate by team of family members. Formation of a team by father (a must) mother, bros and sis and compete between each other families.. Out of 20 teams, there are 3 teams participate by my friends' families.. Wh and i didnt cause our families are not interested.. but Wh decided to give the others a surprise visit.

Besides giving a surprise visit, i guess both Wh and I have a great time there together.. It had been long ago we went to Sunway Lagoon.. And this time found sunway really change a lot.. the waterpark have been developed so well and expanded while the dry park had been smaller.. Both WH and I recall back our memories there very much. I jus remember we did went to Sunway together during our secondary school time when we are goin for Moffats or Westlife concert at the amphytheater.

That sunday we did enjoy ourselves with the rides, the suspension bridge and some join in session with the clue and the race with MS's families, ML's families and KY's families. But after all this do have a tired Sunday.. I guess our age does matter.. Just simply running up and downs.. and i ended up have muscle and body pain for two days..

Anyway, i guess the event ended up successfully and congrats to my friends' families that they did a great job and most important i am so happy for all of them to have a good time there with their families and enjoying the process of the competition. Although all of them had a tired day but they definately have a good memories along the day.

My dreams

2007-06-16T17:46:00.000+08:00

Last night was feeling hot once again, not sleeping on my very comfortable bed but I rather prefer on the floor.. cause feel much more cooling..over the night not really have a good and tight sleep.. Cause I was rang up by mum call to unlock the doors for her middle of the night.. so I gotta drag myself all the way out of my bedroom and went down. After that, I was too tired to speak more, and I quickly drag myself back to my room and continue sleeping.. and it did…

And next I start dreaming.. The dream came and go pretty fast.. Jus a few seconds.. In the dream,,, I am back to the school time.. In my school uniforms.. CPRians school time… I dunno in the dream I am in which forms or which class.. But it pretty look like the form four or form five time.. And I do not see much peoples.. I first enter the class… It is the usual class arrangements of chairs and tables.. the two seats type of arrangement, the tradition type.. suddenly remind me of SAB class arrangement.. it is up to the students interest.. still remember those weird weird arrangement we make in lower forms.. and also some classes with curve table arrangements in the class.. well it is fun though and not so boring with those two seats tradition arrangements.. and the whole class jus as seem to have about 20+ pupils..

Well, I dream as the usual me.. never sitting still in the class cause I see myself running back to my seats from somewhere. And Cant remember who sat besides me.. erm.. look like ML and it is the corner and back seat at the left corner of the class.. and one rare thing was I didn’t met any old classmates in the dream even all my bestmates… I didn’t see any of them in the dream but I know they are there.. and only one person I see clearly and talk to in the dream.. and that’s Pei Shi.. she sat right behind me. And in the reality I had never been in the same class with her.. Even in form four and five, we are just neighbour classmate.. This dream make me think of her.. dunno what she had been doin recently.. I wonder.. After form five I have never seen her.. but she still call me once in a blue moon.. I remember.. but not now.. Hmm.. really a long time we didn’t keep in touch.. Dunno why will dream of her. Maybe it hinted that I should rang her up one day.

A very sweet and simple person impression that she gave me.. Someone who I not really close too.. but a very nice person who will walk with me and chats with me at the school compound when she realize that I am alone. Really such a nice friend that I miss… Hope you are doin fine out there.. and have a bright future….

Opps.. Jus want a shout out: My 100 posts.. wakakaka...

Come and Go

2007-06-16T15:27:00.000+08:00

After reading her blog, make me feel like blogging this here. There are many moments people came in and out in our life. People came in our life unexpectedly; we go thru the moments in our life by knowing and meeting more and more peoples. Among the crowd, we may find peoples who are in the same channels, get along well with us, peoples who we can share a lot of things with, peoples we can talk to, peoples we can care and love, and be love unconditionally. When the time and place is right at the moment, we will be enjoying the moments we have with the peoples we meet, but once the moments past, it is the time that we are missing it and the heart feel so soury to think about it. We gotta learn to let go although this moments will be a difficult to go thru…. Especially when we need to bid farewell to those who is so kind and treating us so well.. and hardly to meet once in a while and again…

* New peoples are easy to meet but a true person is hardly to meet… Once in a while, we will realize that the old shoes fits better and much more comfortable, appreciate each of the person u have meet in your lifetime *

Hopes???

2007-06-04T23:45:00.000+08:00

A day of tomorrow.. I pretty not sure.. Shall i go with hopes or not.. Sometimes i blame myself for not giving perfectly and not performing the best i am.. Interviews.. i really have gone to many recently.. from unknown company to these days multinational company.. From i have hopes till i am hopeless about food industry.. From i need someone to talk too till i have none. From a confidence person till i tell myself till i give up and tell myself stop believing.. From the hopes i have till one by one i found is diminish..

I am afraid of having hopes recently.. no matter in job hunting or anything.. Cause it seem that all my hopes dashed in every single thing.. and i am pretty upset.. Upset and upset again..

How much the heart feel, how much it has to be kept.. and these few days finally found the positive way to go thru this moments. Thinking more positively is the way i can to make myself feel much better.

I dunno what will happen tomorrow.. Can i still be as positive as today.. i wish i could.. Brand new day with brand new hopes!!!

To live by them

2007-05-30T11:36:00.000+08:00

“As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.”

Words are easy to be say but difficult to work out as said. Words of appreciation glad to hear, sweet to hear but words is words.. and how much will words turn to works.... to believe in unpredictable and unreliable words or the entire reality. Reality........... making me wonder how much truth is there...

Memories...

2007-05-26T11:40:00.000+08:00

Visit Malaysia 2007Eye On Malaysia..

I have not take the opportunity to really go for a ride on the Eye on Malaysia since it was built in January until she suggested. But is true, It just built there for a year, so should really take this opportunity to go for a ride. It was known as Eye on Malaysia but is true that i do feel the view from the top does not really give an impressive view of Malaysia, I would comment as not much to be seen.. I guess at least the view from the KL tower will be much better and more to look for.. Probably it is because the location of the Eye on Malaysia. Hmm.. no idea. Jus more of a lake view. BUt what impress me is not about the city night view but is the solid, stable and comfortable ferris wheel i have ever ride on. Although, i pretty afraid of height kind of person but the trick was riding on ferris wheel, I can be very calm.. Ha ha.. Dunno why, but if it is a roller coaster or anything else.. YOu can see that i will be staying pretty far from that..

Have a nice trip with this two good friends of mine. Have an enjoyable moments with them that entire night and our own creation of suspension on that ferris wheel ride which make the ride more exciting and interesting.. Thought of it, give me a big smile!!

Emotional ups and downs

2007-05-23T16:34:00.000+08:00

Going through this emotional ups and downs so frequently recently. Sometimes, easily i can be very happy and in the next few seconds i can be very sad and unhappy. People came in and out.. Last minutes incidents, last minutes break news and last minutes happening... Pretty much to catch up and act wisely at the moments.

Dealing with hopes and faith.. I see they lost their way. but are they really bouncing back ?? what i see ? is it a reality or just a dream. Do not want hopes that is not real.... I am afraid i cant bear with the dissapointments once again.

FBL

2007-05-05T23:05:00.000+08:00

“Hope is important because it can make the present moment less difficult to bear. If we believe that tomorrow will be better, we can bear a hardship today"

The ups and downs in the present, the soury feeling and the undesirable feeling.. need hope to give faith to bear with it.. by cheering the ups to get thru the downs... Does hope really good enough to bear with? Hope may give you more expectation.. never hope never expect.. bear with the reality is better that rely on hope that will be draggy enough to pull u down from the top...

Continue

2007-04-21T12:14:00.000+08:00

"Do not hide yourself, and keep living in the past.. Past is always a past.. The merry and joy always bury in the memorable memories. What you have and can be done in the reality and present is the most appreciated things that you can treasure thru the times goes by. Stop thinking, stop the tears but start moving... " Aya

March 9th (3 月 9 日)

2007-04-20T22:12:00.000+08:00

A very nice song that i like from One litre Of Tears
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ir7oziQMV48

nagareru kisetsu no mannaka de
futo hi no nagasa wo kanjimasu
sewashiku sugiru hibi no naka ni
watashi to anata de yume wo egaku
in the midst of flowing seasons,
I suddenly feel the length of the days
in the midst of passing restless days,
you and I are painting our dreams

sangatsu no kaze ni omoi wo nosete
sakura no tsubomi wa haru e to tsudzukimasu
place our feelings in the wind of March
where the sakura blossoms are going towards spring

afuredasu hikari no tsubu ga
sukoshizutsu asa wo atatamemasu
ookina akubi wo shita ato ni
sukoshi tereteru anata no yoko de
grains of light are overflowing,
bit by bit, starting to warm the morning
and after a big yawn,
i’m feeling a bit awkward by your side

arata na sekai no iriguchi ni tachi
kidzuita koto wa hitori ja nai tte koto
standing at the door to a new world,
what I realized is that I’m not alone

hitomi wo tojireba anata ga
mabuta no ura ni iru koto de
dore hodo tsuyoku nareta deshou
anata ni totte watashi mo, sou de aritai…
if i close my eyes, you are
always behind my eyelids
isn’t that what made me stronger?
I, too, want to be like that for you…

suna bokori hakobu tsumoji kaze
sentakumono ni karamarimasu ga
hiru mae no sora no shiroi tsuki wa
nanda ka kirei de mitoremashita
the dust-carrying whirlwinds
are entangling the laundry
but the white moon before the noon sky
was so beautiful that I’m fascinated

umaku wa ikanu koto mo aru keredo
ten wo oogeba sore sae chiisakute
there are things that didn’t go well, but
compared to the sky, they seem so small

aoi sora wa rin to sunde
hitsuji kumo wa shizuka ni yureru
hana saku wo matsu yorokobi wo
wakachi aeru no de areba, sore wa shiawase
the blue sky, by the moment
the fluffy clouds are swaying quietly
the pleasure of waiting for the blooming petals,
if we can share it, then that’s a blessing

kono saki mo tonari de, sotto hohoende…
from now on, smile gently beside me…

hitomi wo tojireba anata ga
mabuta no ura ni iru koto de
dore hodo tsuyoku nareta deshou
anata ni totte watashi mo, sou de aritai…
if i close my eyes, you are
always behind my eyelids
isn’t that what made me stronger?
I, too, want to be like that for you...

Buddies at CAF

2007-04-20T10:05:00.000+08:00

The younger generation of CAF

People i work with.. People i complain with.. People i struggle with.....

Pictures of my last day of work (19th of March 2007)

A great accompany throughout the 6 months...

Movies

2007-04-10T17:06:00.000+08:00

Recently there are not many nice movies this month but there are two comedy that attracts my attention. That's Mr. Bean Holidays and Just Follow the Law.. Really plan to watch these both movies.. but too bad till now, i have not have the opportunity to watch it yet... And i wonder, the movies now is mark with esterich ady.. and maybe later it will stop showing ady... Aiks.. Sometimes really thought of going movie alone... But my last experience of movie alone.. Like a sopo.. but that time was a tragedy and sad movie.. This is a comedy movie maybe not too bad.. but my bro told me about a guy who go for the movie alone and sat beside him, laugh on his own.. and seem like so crazy.. Adn it pull me back.. Argh..... Look like probably ended up on DVds.. Haih.....

By the way, if compare these both movies... heard the votes for Just Follow Law is much higher and more supportive... Hmmm.. dunno....

Day for praying..

2007-04-10T16:57:00.000+08:00

Qing Ming,

One of the Chinese yearly occasion, youngs, adults and the old folks.. Go praying at the cemetery. As usual, my family always does this occasion after the actual day to avoid the hectic jam and crowds.. But this year we met the crowd.. and stuck in the jam. Guess everyone is praying a weekend later to prevent the hectic jam. But turn up unexpectedly!

This year Qing Ming turns out to be a good day of get together. At each of the graveyards we went, we spent a longer time there this year, all was busy doing the cleaning, grass cutting, painting, praying, serving the food and burning the materials. And the olds and adults start to teach the younger generation about the tradition of praying, recognizing the cemetery of our ancestors. At least grandma did not grumble or complain we come back early.. as in we caught in the jam and we took approximate 4 hours to accomplish the process.

But very weird thinking I have every year at this time, maybe I have see my grandpa condition as very critical. Really hate myself to have this type of thinking. Dunno since when,, after every year of Qing Ming, I had always afraid that I will need to pray my Grandpa next year on these day.. but, of course please touch wood and crossed my fingers.. saying no for that..

Dedication to grandpa,

It has been 3 years you surviving in the condition you are now. We glad we still have you around these days with us. We should be grateful..

But it was pain and hurt enough to see the condition you are nowadays. You was a strong man before and now you dun even have energy to stand or walk on ur own nor to eat or speak your mind of to us. Everyday we can only able to serve you the best with meals, a lazy chair for laying down. Seeing you eating so many medicine just to prolong your life and not enjoying every moments of your life.. really make us wonder are we doing the correct thing..

Sometimes I feel really useless. Cause really nothing I can do for you.. A least before this, when u are in pain, I can drive you to the doctor. When u complain of your legs , can get you some massagers. When u need help, u will voice it out.. But now.. really nothing I can do more.. Sometimes, you dun even recognize me or even wan to open your eye to see us or to talk to us. Sometimes, really really hope u know what we trying to talk to you..

I still remember last year during my convocation day, I kneel in front of you telling you that I finally graduated from the university. You didn’t give me any reaction and I dunno whether you know about it or not. But in my heart I really hope you know. Cause still fresh in mind, the first day I pack my stuffs and ready to go off to register to the university, you still in good health and you walk to me, give me a two hundreds dollars to buy things I needed and reminded me to study hard. I am really touched and I promise myself on my day of graduation I will take my grandma and grandpa together with me. But unfortunately, after a short period of this, on my day of graduation he no longer can walk or even know what really happening around him. Sometimes he does and sometimes he does not. And of course the promise cannot be fulfill and it is a regrets.

But at least, sometimes the condition does not be so bad.. as we consider u can recognize or know whats going on, when u give us a simple smile. And of course I hope that u always will..

Stages of working adaption

2007-04-08T17:40:00.000+08:00

Went to some sort of a talk. Not much inspiration that i get.. But there is one thing i found was quite correct.. Is what the someone told me about the stages of working adaption. In the working cycle..

First Stage :
When you first join in a company... You will never think of you will be leaving or resigning.. You think of you have a new life, new environment and new challenge to go through in your future.

Second Stage :
After joining some time, you start to found something that u dislike and uncomfortable with the company. U start to be a bit miserable.. but you still look for the future prospect you have in this company, looking forward that it might be a changes at some time. And you still can deal with the dislikes and uncomfort issue there.

Third Stage :
You start to feel that the future prospect and the positive wit the company does not really hold your motivation to stayed on with the company.. you start to realize nothing much u can learn from there..you wille have less and less motivation, start to feel grey with the company.. At this stage, you will either still working day by day just to survive for the sake of the needs to work and do not work extra or have initiative to work more for the company. Or you start to think of it may be a time for a change of job.. You start to consider for a resignation..

Fourth Stage :
The last stage or the ultimate stage, where you reach the maximum.. You no longer can stand or stay with the company. The Stage you really want a resignation to release yourself.. and at this stage you should have the resignation letter on your hand and deciding when is your last commenment date.

I found that this four stage of working adaption really true as in i go thru myself. We maybe struggling as we might not want to quit in an early stage although we see there is something wrong.. most of the tiem we would try to struggle on, move on cause we do not want to declare that we lose or not trying to fight it thru.

But i the other way, we try to struggle on to gain more experience and a better record of your resume for the next job hunting.. BUT.. if we keep on struggling in something that u learn nothing, although we get a longer period of working experience.. but in your next job hunting or during your interviewing.. people see it as nothing.. people see it as a waste..

So i found when u believe in struggling for a longer period .. it might not seem to be as true as what u believe.. Time is precious.. The time that u spent struggling in the company.. you may seen it as experience. but it may also seen it as time wasting as you might leave out the job opportunities that u have at that moment..

So, frens... if you really found yourself in stage three.. do be rational and really think of can you still bear with it and have courage to make the move.. Take a step ahead!

Wishing everyone have a satisfying job on hand... I wish i am too..

Fate and faith

2007-03-11T09:36:00.000+08:00

When the fate arrive, we didnt fight thru it.. Most of the time, we obey it..

We go thru with faith but still..

At the end.. we lost our faith on it..

And there's goes our hopes... Gone as well...

Kind old man

2007-03-04T14:46:00.000+08:00

He is an old man.. but still strong in his physical. From his look, he probably aged ard 60+. Working hardly everyday from monday till saturday. He can be as fit as a young man. One thing to be proud.. he is earning each cents with his sweats and energy. Working everyday without any holidays. Even he has tonnes of annual leave but he didnt want to take it to spent holidays with his family every year. For a company to have this kind of worker who really work very hard for the company really rarely seen nowadays. But somehow his hard work only can be seen but was not really appreciated.

Everyday he work non-stop , the time he start to work, we might still have our dreams on our sweet bed. Every morning, straining KGs of coconut meat, KGs of juice he need to produce and KGs of pandan juice he need to produce on time. It does not seem as easy as seen and he is savings each cents he earn for the good of the grand daughter to have a better living. He is really like those poor old man we read or we heard about old man who really work hard and this kind old man really work till he lost his finger print. Every day he has difficulties in putting his finger print on the finger tec machine.

The first time i approach this old man.. trying to communicate with his prefer chinese language.. but the old man sort of hinting to me, i better talk to him with my usual language then struggling hard to talk his prefer language. Really feel embarassed.

My first impression on him, he is someone doesn't care much of what happening.. but know his responsibilities and make sure everyday he finished up what he need to do and thats it! But one thing about this old man, the way he work and the work he do.. we hardly find anyone that can replace what he does everyday. His outlook was everyday in a messy shirt and long pants which is wet and dirty and smell of coconut. We might have the feeling of he is dirty everyday.. and yes he is. But he has never care what people think about him or might stay away from him. He jus do the thing he think is correct and what he need to do.

But we can never underjudge his kindness, although he is someone never care what had happening. A fine day that i saw this old man climb in a big garbage bin which situated at garbage area for housing area type ( it mean those big type and deep though).He climb in there jus to help me to find out a particular small thing. He didnt hesitate at all when he found that me and my colleague hardly digging in the rubbish bin .. but trying his best to dig in and out of the garbage in the bin. Even though i give up of searching the thing i need, but he still insist of searching it. Although at the end, the three of us cant find the thing i need and i will get the blame from my superior.. but at that moment everything is not important.. I mean the blame, the scolding, the dirtiness and the smell.. but i get so touch with this old man.. and i feel so much guilt on me because of me, this old man need to climb in the garbage bin and dig the garbage out with us for nothing we can get. Under the hot sun for about half an hour he need to go thru all this just to help me.

Never know i will meet up this kind of old man in this kind of situation where you have never think of there will be anyone to raelly go thru that with you.

A simple thanks seem so little to say for so much!!!

Psychologist saying!

2007-02-14T21:19:00.001+08:00

Something to share here:

Psychologist said :

For a person to behave in good manner and patient, bear in mind...
" Do not voice out more than three words when you are out of mood, in anger or frustration"

This is because when we are in frustration, out of mood and in anger, we are sort of out of mind. We will not be rational enough to justify each and every words that come out from our conversation. From this, the more words we say, the more words, that it can hurt ur opponents or the words that is sensitive and not right to be said at that moment. so the best way is do not voice out more than 3 words, jus be silent and cool ourselves down.. Until we are cool down and we will only be rational and justify what shall be talk and not.A good action to avoid we hurting our friends, family or the person we are talking too and close with.

Song of the day

2007-01-26T23:28:00.000+08:00

Early morning.. not really in the mood to work..
But jus feel tired and not really have a big smile on face..
As usual start my routine.. pass through the area i hated the most..
and here the noise started.. Ignoring it is the best way.. and I did it..
No matter how much ppl tease and condemning .. i jus ignore and go my way..
And next the 20 minutes talk in boss room... And finally i am OUT..
the long face i have..
Straight down and head towards my office.. to get the peace i need..

And here the song lighted up the mood of the day.. At least heal some of the tension, frust and fire burning deep inside the heart....

Colleague was funny and make the room at least in a peace and a place to really laugh our heart out and cheer up each other..

He play a song.. i dunno who is the singer nor the song title.. but i gues it is a familiar song.. What make the situation better and caught off the stress feeling is the song lyrics and repeated as..
" O oh.. You in trouble...... bla bla bla" He keep on repeated the song and say it is my song.. cause i was jus in the situation of " O oh Puiyin in trouble" Of all the tensed.. I was relief and burst to laugh and smile.. Cant stand what my colleague doing.. but wat make me laugh even more.. after i settle down with my frust and concentrate with my work.. is his turn to be in trouble with boss.. and this tiem my time to keep on playing the song to him..

Of all the frustration it is good to have this song to light up and calm ourselves down.. and ended with a laughing environment.. Although the end is still need to face back to the reality but at least a break from it..

Past, Present, Future

2007-01-20T23:38:00.000+08:00

Past, Present and Future..

Three different phrase of time that we wil have in our life.

PAst.. Whatever in past is past.. Will remain as memories in our mind. Days in our young years.. Days that we may not be mature enough to justify.. Regrets or proud that we have! Things that we might do or not do now. Memories tat we wil keep in written notes or pictures that buries deep down the heart.

Present... What we are doing at this moment.. Doing day by day.. Changing our mind now and then.

Future... The journey we looking ahead in our life. WE always have hopes and wish for future.. Thinking so much for it.. and hoping to get into what we wish and hope and trying hard to achieve what we want by being more and more hardworking..

Every now and then.. most of the time.. people keep looking back. Take a glance back what people had done in the past.. And planning and planning wat we need to do to achieve the future of what we want. The Present.. People always neglect the present.. Neglect the importance of the present.. by too concentrating on the past and future.. Present is actualy as importance as the past and the future.. Wat people goin thru presently.. Is wat people should concentrate and treasure the present though is sweet or bitter.

Weird dreams

2007-01-20T02:22:00.000+08:00

Throughout the week, or after the frustating weeks. which get me having these dreams..
The first dream, is the early of the week.. i guess is somewhere tuesday or wednesday where i dream of a morning where i only wake up at 11+am.. Having a good time of brunch and chatting wit my grandma in the living room.. Suddenly i stare at the clock.. and It struck 12pm.. And m mind suddenly ring me up. I was like "Shit i forget to go to work today, today not Sunday but the normal working day. HOw come.. i was this late to work.. and not even my grandma wake me up or remind me that i was late to work.. i GEt a shocked... i didnt inform my GM and not even my colleague.. I get so anxious and asking myself what excuses i need to give my manager regarding my absence from work in the morning.." and towards all this worries.. i am finally awake from sleep and realize i was still on the bed in the midnite.

Then the same weeks.. few days ago.. i dream of i have resign from my current job.. and i am now working at other country, a new factory which also a food industry which is much more clean and more organise.. And i feel so thankful.. but I am so sad that i am a stranger there.. No one i know or even there to help or wanted to talk to me.. And i am wandering on the road dunno which direction i should go at the end of the dream.

REallly feeling so weird for having these kind of dreams in jus few days of the week.. Dunno whether this indicate how reluctant i am to wat today work.. or it is a pressure or it indicate how dislike i am with my current company.. REally no idea..

Unlucky week

2007-01-13T19:15:00.000+08:00

Finally the unlucky week going to past...
This week seem so unlucky yet so bad luck..
All started in the early of the week, on the early morning of tues.. as usual going to work in my little car.. as usual the main road was busy with cars but not really jam but a smooth drive. Just turn out from the corner of my house to the main road, pass by the petrol station and driving in the left lane, there is always some driver like to stop half way in the road so sudden to drp off.. as Malaysian alwasy have this habit.. never doubt sometimes i does it too.. but this stupid driver really stupid.. She jus cant stop at the side wehre there is the bus stop but stop in the middle.. And of all the driver didnt put on the signal light earlier..

I was coming from the back.. suddenly saw the signal light from the front car and she stop. trying to go to the right lane to cut off.. but i cant cause the right lane car was so fast.. and i ahve no choice but make a stop to wait till the woman drop off.. and while waiting suddenly a 'BANG' from behind.. DAMn! my car was BANg to move forward and it is a big impact from the back.. I was shock and it was.. SHIT!! then i gotta move to the side a bit so that not blosking the road.. and.. here come "THE RECKLESS AND IRRESPONSIBLE DRIVER" THE STUPID WAJA JUS DRIVE OFF.. i havent manage to come down from my car and look at his plat number .. and he jus drive off.. HE REALLY SUCH AN IDIOT!

And of all.. i was in anger... and the front car quickly drive off as well when she saw the incident... I was like numb and really sad to see how irresponsible people is.. And when i see my car it is more sad.. to see the bumper drop off, injured, plat number broken and the site lamp broken. Mood really turn down and not in teh mood to work.. SMs my boss telling him i may take emergency half day off and will back after settle.. to my surprise he call me up and his conversation was 'WHERE ARE U?" For a normal people.. maybe they will not feel anything.. but for ppl who understand my boss well.. he call is actually to check am i really meet with accident or jus cheating.. cause he is a suspicious person who never believe ppl especialy when his workers take emergency leave.. he always teach his staff. whenever in emergency leave must ask wat happen and call to check is true or not. sigh!! Sigh who so free to create story like this... Hai.. so no mood to go back work geh that day.. But after sent car to mechanic, i still back to work to face that suspicious boss.. Aih!!!

Well.. there goes my unlucky Tues, then on Wed this time.. mum hit a car due his leg loose from the brake.. luckily it is jus mild hit.. and both car not injured.. and she jus get scolded from the opposite..

Thurs came... this time.. an accident happen again.. It strike my dad this time. Dad was driving his bus that afternoon making a turning.. and a stupid motorist try to speed up and cut off my dad.... but during the cornering where he have no place to turn adn lost balance fall down adn roll over at the road. Another irresponsible motorist.. he speed and drive so dangerous but he never thought of the young kid behind him.. When my dad saw the accident.. he stop adn other outsider first thought that he hit the motorist.. that stupid motorist also blame my dad for knocking him down.. when dad settle with him, outsider step in and scold my dad blaming him knowck the kid and yound man down.. My dad was so innocent.. but he jus feel so pityful to see the young kid bleeding and the motorist also hurt so badly.. so to make everything easier my dad jus gave them some money.. so that they can go see doctor. There is no pity for the mtorsit who drive so carelessly.. but to the young kid is really pity.. he roll over the road.. jus hope that he is ok and didnt have inner injury..

Thats why this is really an unlucky week.. i met with an accident following by my mum and then my dad.. What is this!! What an unlucky and bad week my family had!!! Wishing that all the bad go off and the goods in return!!

Blogging

2007-01-06T20:48:00.000+08:00

I am back finally..

Really have been away for quite some time.. Away for some time.. and here i am back with many to blog.. Really have many things wish to blog.. but is really busy and no time for blogging or goes online..

Some how jus grab some little time to come in here and drop few words or do some blogging.. Buts!!! i am now yawning.. GOD.. Wat a day.. so sleepy at this time really unbelievable.. jus 8+pm. and i am so in need of bed.. Argh.. cant.. must struggle a bit.. or else it will be a miss..

Whoah..ah.. Aiks.. really really sleepy.. how come how come..!!!!

Piss Off!!!!

2006-12-16T21:59:00.000+08:00

What a day..
In the busy morning.. i got this message.
I was like ' Bloody hell' after reading the message..
Why people sent this kind of message to me.. I am out of mind..
Dunno what i can reply..Cool myself down and reply in a good manner.
The next message came and it more worst..
It seem as u try to cool urself down to close the case.. but the message came to start fire..
this time i take a longer time to really calm down.. and instead of i burst..
I reply in a good manner.. worries of hurting the opponent if i really burst the truth!
Summary.. ppl come to start a fire with me, but instead of arguing, I ended up to cool myself and need to say something to persuade the other opponent jus because i worry i might hurt my opponent..

Next... the husband and wife.. Husband always with the A saying... thinking that he always in the correct saying.. while his saying always opposite of the wife saying.. His wife always have her own way of doing thigns without discussing with the husband... while the husband expecting me to follow his words.. ended up one day husband saying A to me.. wife saying B to me. and which to follow.. follow A get scolding from wife.. follow B husband lecturing it is not the right way for us to do thing like that! Really WHAT DE !!!!!

Another weekend

2006-12-10T10:39:00.000+08:00

It is weekend again..
Time really pass without realizing it is so fast.
Today weather same as the previous past sunday..
Weather jus nice, cool, windy and clear..
This kind of weather really good for a walk at the park early morning, hillls climbing or even some sports.. but of all this.. i jus stay at home.. not that i sleep till late.. as the automatic clock strike my mind to wake up every sun morning as the usual workdays.. And as usual, i think of goin ot to park for some healthy activities or others.. but i always ended up stuck at home.. probably hanging around with my grandma in the kitchen or jus hanging in front of the computer.. Sometimes.. kidda bored at home.. but in other way.. it is more of a relaxing day i have for myself!

Hmm.. talk about park. i thought of my last evening with my two dearest friends.. Well. although it was a late evening. but i do think we had a great evening together, spending our leisure time together to walk around the park, looking for fishes and have some sweet and funny moments together at the swing.. Well.. the feeling of that evening was really great.. Cause it was a different type of routine we do. instead of jus walking shopping malls.. or jus a drink at the cafe.. But the miss.. is we reach late.. and miss the entrance time to the Tugu Negara..Actually that is the first time i went there with frens.. Rarely been there.. My first time to be there... was with my family when i was aged really young. Reason to be there was jus to take a relative who came back from Taiwan.. Purposely go there for a walk... last evening was my first time.. Haha.. Jus as my previous first time of visiting the Istana Negara entrance with my coursemate.. And to my two dearest friends.. we make a great companion last Sunday.. and i should say very lucky to have the right timing for us to really spent some time together walking around or doing some weird weird things.. after so many years that each of us stepped out from schools and busy with our own routine of life.. with works, studies at different places....

Weekend

2006-12-02T22:01:00.000+08:00

Weekend come and weekend jus goes off..
Weekdays start and we look ahead for another weekend..
but when weekend end we always look for another weekend.
Weekend mean for day off and rest..
how many of us really rest during weekend.
No matter we rest or not..
the valuable of weekend depending on how we spent on it..
Of all, we still the one to decide how we want our weekend to be..
Busy, full of entertainment, peaceful and relaxing..
Choice of livng, choice of life valid on our hands.

A sickness weekend doesn't mean is bad.. but look in the other hand.. its a time that we really slow down and rest to the fullest and be prepare for the next coming events and routine of life..

Smile =)

2006-10-27T20:52:00.000+08:00

When there is some day u find nobody cares about you, nobody listen to you, nobody can help you.. or no time for you.. you may feel totally upset, discourage, unhappy and lonely.. At this moment.. u will feel much loneliness and depressed... but always bear in mind.. The sun in front of you always smile on you! Step forward with courage and return the smile. Start everyhting with a smile.. A simple smile may brighten up your day.. So whenever u have tears or sadness... always remember to return a smile.. Cheer up.....

Expired food

2006-10-12T15:44:00.000+08:00

Do i always stay healthy? not really sure about that.. but from yesterday onwards, i realize i need to have more insurance and heavy insurance.. cause i feel that my health will be deteriorate and get harm staying with nowadays work.

And maybe i should also said that, i realize why the QA exec in my company didnt stay long with my boss. Cause from being the QA exec there.. the responsibilities is more of a white mouse to my boss to evaluate and try expiry goods... The boss is really sucha stingy person or i shall say all bosses are like that! but to food company.. expiry mean expiry.. how come!!!

Aiks.. yesterday.. i was assigned to evaluate on those fruit cake products which were expired for a year/two.. and my boss dun wan to throw away.. btu plan to resell.. and he wan the QA to evaluate on the products and here my job come.. the white mouse to try and taste the cake.. i was surprise yet feel so hard for me to take the lead to try on that.. cause i am a sensitive person to expiry food.. which i will not eat although it still look good. but this time i need to take a lead.. Cant say much but i go ahead with it! and actually the cake still taste good but just not fresh,dry and with burn smell.. i thought actaully the cake not that bad also.. And never thought today i am on medical sick leave.. i vomitted,diarrhoe, stomache and with slight fever... went to see the doc.. he ask did i take any wrong food.. i dun dare tell him, i took some of the expiry cake! but this is the culprit that i suspected!

And yet yesterday meeting, boss had assign a new task for me.. from today onwards, i need to evaluate on those rejected swiss roll which have expired but not mouldy... Bos told me to check on it and even must taste it!! Urgh!! taste expired food again!! Why i need to do all this geh.. always eat expired food!! Really dunno how much bacteria were there.. and how much microorganism that i will need to consume to my body..I really praying hard that my immune system able to take it.. Or else.. i really no idea.. how many times i need to fall sick again! Or else.. i guess, is time for me to do fake report to my boss on the evaluation.. Realy got nightmare of consuming these type of food!

siu keung

2006-10-09T20:38:00.000+08:00

I am glad that i am not afraid of cockroaches. or else i need to quit! my first day, i saw ths siu keung at the kaya packaging machine..just passing by.. like jus to appear the moment to say hi or to welcome me to the company.. then after few days.. i saw siu keung at the production area. siu keung pass by again around the kaya kettle temperature device. and next siu keung came more near.. siu keung seem to like to appear infront of me.. this time siu keung came to my territory.. the laboratory.. but since siu keung like me so much.. come to laboratory.. so i also welcome siu keung with a normal response.. kill it..kakakkak

next siu keung come again after few days.. ths time siu keung more smart.. siu keung didnt appear by jus passing by but playing a hide and seek game. siu keung appear at the site of a device which i am holding to check the viscosity of the kaya.. and it is the viscometer.. this time i didnt manage to kill it but jus more of hunting which hole the siu keung hide..

And today siu keung make a group attack.. and i got a shock and feel so disgusting!!.. from the basket of reject goods.. a group of siu keung jus loitering around and walking aorund the reject goods.. which me and my colleague unable or unwilling to put our hand in the basket to get the reject goods and make data recording on it.. and my natural respond is. 1,2,3 take the whole basket and throw it away into the big garbage area outside the factory.. After throw.. only i think back.. what to do and what to answer to boss.. cause i throw all the reject goods that i need to make a record. but.. i jus tell my colleague to jot down full of cockroaches and i will answer what needed in meeting.

During meeting, this issue really highlight by my boss.. and i did tell him wat had happen.. and he granted me a job now... look for the nest of this cockroaches.. sigh~ whole factory so big how to identify the nest and from where this coakroaches come from... hia.. look like this week main responsibilities is to find out where siu keung live...

siu keung siu keung.. where are u???
Disgusting yah.. food factory full of cockroahes... i also feel urgh!!!!!!!!! no appetite to have lunch...yucky yucky yucky!!! mayeb good to lost appetite and go on diet.. everyday facing and tracking siu keung, moulds and expired goods!!!

MY first week of work

2006-09-24T15:55:00.000+08:00

MY first week of work.. hmm.. a bit not use to it the first few days.. as really need to wake up early morning.. so sleepy and try to get use and familiar with the colleagues there. erm.. colleagues still ok.. environment.. although not that great but still under adaptation..

People said at home bored.. but this week i jus feel as at work it is bored as well.. cause what i did is jus reading procedures, motivation notes and jus walking around as a stranger look how kaya, and bean paste is being processes. hmm.. next week will start to be introduce more on the inspection processes and more training on quality control... at the moments not tiring.. but later really dunno..hahah. hope that it is not too bad..

Actually is great to have a honeymoon time at work.. and i should not be complaining.. but too long hours of honeymoon will get to so bored.. and really wondering and looking for work to do.. cause when u see others so busy working.. while i am jus so free sitting there dunno wat to do.. feel as not so proper manner.. But i also tell myself.. if later got too many works to do.. then wil sure start to complain more.. aiks.. human really so difficult to satisfy the needs.. got work complain.. no work also complain..ahhaha.. Wat kind of situation we feel the best with???

Early Morning...

2006-09-18T08:59:00.000+08:00

Wake up early morning todya at 7 am.. jus purposely doing so to adapt to it so that i can get use to it.. i alwasy thnk that wake up early not that difficult.. but the difficult task is how to struggle the hours after u awake.. cause is like so sleepy.. and i need more sleep feel.. so of all this.. i decided to sleep more early tonight.. ahha.. Cause after i awake till now.. i cant stop yawning.. worst is i keep on laying on my bed for minutes of nap.. gosh...

hmmm.. tomorrow at this time.. i shall be working.. working and adapting myself in the new environment.. dunno wat the condition is.. but i guess of course not like now can sit and blog..kakka..

well.. really stepping in the 2nd phase of life.. working.. hmmm.. lets do some calculation..

when we are born.. crying baby and crying day and nite for milk.. assume 1 year.. then when we learn to crawl, learn to stand and learn to walk, learn to demand and learn to play.. age 2-4yr old..

next 1st change..1st stage of life.. education life.. I went in tadika when i was 4 yrs old.. study for 3 yrs of tadika.. it was unusual as i go in tadika a longer period than any other ppls.. Why?? dun ask why!!! Maybe thats why i so smart today..ahhah.. then primary for 6 yrs and then secondary 5 yrs... form six 2 yrs and university 3 yrs.. wow.. i spent about 19yrs of studying..wakakkaa. not enough.. wat about taking master add either 1/2 yrs.. then it will sum up to 20yrs of studying..hhaha.. Dream first!!!

and now year of 2006.. stepping ahead for the 2nd phase of life.. working.. well.. my first job.. Food technologist in a bread spread company.. now cant comment much.. cause dunno yet..hahah.. will blog more on it after i started.. if count from now.. still got how many yrs of working ar??? erm.. still got about 30yrs to work... wah.. working really is the longest period we spent in our life... anyway lsat friday morning, i heard a professional saying that mostly the graduates will need to spent about 10yrs of shifting and jumping on their career to realize thier true and real career path.. so that mean the first 10 years is to look, learn and jump.. then for the next 20years .. is really the hard work pour to ur career path and building the future of wat we hope for.. so meaning is i still have 10years of playing in career path.. before proceeding to my dream job...hahaha.. anyway who knows what our future are.. maybe i ended up in food industry or maybe i didnt..haha.. really dunno.. but most important now i give a try in food industry.. really not suitable only run..hahah

Haha.. blogging can really kill some time.. if not so early in the morning.. really no idea what to do.. hmmm..hahah.. really wat a bolg in this early morning..kakaka..

Importance of communication

2006-08-31T03:37:00.000+08:00

Justification of communication,
How importance of communication will be..
By communication, we learn of understanding and building relationship,

good communication brings.. good impacts..
Well understanding and with good relationship..
But good communication cant be created by single individuals.. but together..
One person efforts will never be enough..
Different people with different communication method..
The time to communicate is not importance as the degree of understanding the needs is more importance.

Sometimes.. we try to communicate more and hope the understanding will grow.. but things will never be that well. as more communication bring more different perceptions and different opinion.. which causes more troubles.

Less communication.. doesn't mean to be bad.. as sometimes.. we can get to understand ppl well. although we communicate less.. less communication may also bring less troubles.. and less worries..

Valuation of communication..
Depending on peoples u dealing with..
some.. u need to communicate more.. but some.. they will jus understand by heart...
Whether communication can be a tool or a disaster..
Depends on the way we applying it on our daily life..
Balancing it and make a good part of it..
Will benefit and do more goods than harms...

Changes...

2006-08-31T03:07:00.000+08:00

People change as time goes by..
But whether the change is good or bad..
it hardly judge by u or me or anyone..
As decision need to be made for changes..
And each individuals have their own rights to choose their path..
A path and direction that they dream of but not supportive..
or a future that everyone hope for and want to be..
Everyone want to change for better.. but
Will the changes always be a better one for urself or up to others expectation..
U may think u change for good but others may think it is not enough good..
So which is the most important criteria..
Urself or others..
Ourselves.. but ppl may think we are selfish..
OThers.. but the life is yours and u think so much about others.. will it be a stupid fool
Expectation and more expectation.. whose expectation you can manage to fulfill...
Tolerating.. we tolerate for each other changes.. but how much and how long this toleration can be continue..
Will the toleration given taken granted by others..
When this is happening.. will the toleration given still worthwhile to be given sincerely..
Or it is the time to put a stop.. and the end of the patient for the toleration..
As time goes by.. we never know which is true, which is correct and which is the best..
WE jus learn to grow, learn to manage...
And making life happier from one day to another...
Life brings thinking.. but thinking might not bring happiness..
So.. why make life difficult by thinking so much..
Lift it up.. and Jus trying to make a simple life by...
Live for life of happpiness!

Graduation by Vitamin C

2006-08-24T22:02:00.000+08:00

And so we talked all night about the rest of our lives
Where we're gonna be when we turn 25
I keep thinking times will never change
Keep on thinking things will always be the same
But when we leave this year we won't be coming back
No more hanging out cause we're on a different track
And if you got something that you need to say
You better say it right now cause you don't have another day
Cause we're moving on and we can't slow down
These memories are playing like a film without sound
And I keep thinking of that night in June
I didn't know much of love
But it came too soon
And there was me and you
And then we got real cool
Stay at home talking on the telephone with me
We'd get so excited, we'd get so scared
Laughing at our selves thinking life's not fair
And this is how it feels

As we go on
We remember
All the times we
Had together
And as our lives change
Come whatever
We will still be
Friends forever

So if we get the big jobs
And we make the big money
When we look back now
Will our jokes still be funny?
Will we still remember everything we learned in school?
Still be trying to break every single rule
Will little brainy Bobby be the stockbroker man?
Can Heather find a job that won't interfere with her tan?
I keep, I keep thinking that it's not goodbye
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly
And this is how it feels

As we go on
We remember
All the times we
Had together
And as our lives change
Come whatever
We will still be
Friends forever

Will we think about tomorrow like we think about now?
Can we survive it out there?
Can we make it somehow?
I guess I thought that this would never end
And suddenly it's like we're women and men
Will the past be a shadow that will follow us 'round?
Will these memories fade when I leave this town
I keep, I keep thinking that it's not goodbye
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly

As we go on
We remember
All the times we
Had together
And as our lives change
Come whatever
We will still be
Friends forever

The first time i listen to this song was in my secondary year.. when i need to leave my friends and my school during form five. Next, it was during my form six years in SAB ended. ALthough that time it is not the real graduation.. but this song jus sound good as it really meaningful and didnt sound that sad as the auld lang syne.. where is time to bid farewell to people around you. And this song.. i listen to it again... this year.. as it is the real graduation.. Few weeks before the real day, a fren share this song with me with her mp3. She told me this song suit me as graduation will be coming soon.. and at that moment, i jus listen to the song tentatively as i really like this song very much. And when i reach home, i jus go look for the vitamin C single album on graduation. I played the song again and again.. listen to it many times... before,during and after the convocation... And finally the officially graduation day is over and this time is also the time that i got the most feeling on this song.. Therefore, i would like to dedicate this song to all my frens who had graduated recently or to those who will be graduating soon... Enjoy the song and the lyrics.....All the best in the future and do keep in touch..... Missing all of u...........

Dunno what to do...

2006-08-06T21:40:00.000+08:00

Considerations for others..
Things get complicated..
Very headache..
dunno what to do..
dunno how to decide..
Why so difficult to make a decision?
a decision that everyone would be happy for it..
a decision that i will not feel bad with..
Hai... why things that is so simple yet can be so complicated...
really no ideas....

Life

2006-08-02T22:45:00.000+08:00

For the longest time, it seemed that life was about to start. Real life. But there was always some obstacle along the way, an ordeal to get through, some work to be finished, some time to be given, a bill to be paid. Then life would start.

Fool..

2006-07-26T15:30:00.000+08:00

Being so blur, confuse of what happening..
taking initiative to ask and know further..
From not feeling to join but tolerate..
Taking initiative and thinking positively..
But at the end,
How sad.. that no matter what u try to tolerate..
and the result is jus being a fool of..
Frustrated, temper, anger..
nothing.. but jus speechless.
negative feeling jus torturing...
so of all.. be cheer ful and happy..
Is the best thing can be done...

The old and the daughter..

2006-07-25T14:59:00.000+08:00

The day I meet with them. It has been ages that I didn’t meet them there. The very last time I met with them in that house, which the memory a bit blur in my mind is the time I was really young.. Most probably I am jus in my primary years. I cant remember exactly when.. but I guess is the lower primary years.

The old woman and her daughter who is mute who live the top floor of the flat. In my younger years, I feel sympathy on them. Feel sympathy for the old woman, who is old enough but still need to climb so many floors without lift and doing some business daily by selling food to make some money for living. It is not that she do not have any children that care for them.. but this old woman just stubborn enough wan to rely on herself and continue her business although her both legs are getting weaker as she grow older.

On the day I met with them… The different that I see and the different feeling that I have.. I just spent probably half an hour there at their house the other day. The old woman is strong and stubborn as before.. She hardly walks as she recently fell down and hurt her legs. Watching her pushing the square steel chair, humpbacked and trying to make each step without help of anyone can really make people around realize how much this old woman would struggle to live without people’s help.

Her daughter.. Still the same but I guess she much more older now. I saw her with some white hairs and her face skin that wrinkled. When I was young, I dislike to talk to her as I cant understand what she saying. She always with her hand sign language. But this time, the feeling is different… I feel that I really try to understand what she trying to tell me with the sign language.. although I still cant understand it well but I guess it not that important that I didn’t understand.. but maybe what most important is I spent time trying to listen to her. She seem to be a very happy go lucky person although she is speechless. Jus feel that, all this while she really rarely have someone she can talk to. No matter she is happy or sad, she will not be able to blurt out.

On that fine day, jus coincident that I happen to drop by and give a little helping hand. But the old woman already keep on saying thanks to me… which really make me feel uneasy…jus feel that jus a little help that I think it is not worth for a single thanks or even that I didn’t really gave much help… While her daughter jus keep on trying to entertain me and serving me with water.. Jus wonder people like this old woman and her daughter who live a simple living but really appreciating each of the moments they have in life and every single things given to them.. But in our daily life, do we really take the opportunities to really appreciating things we have, the people around us and what is given to us.. Sometimes people do not realize, or sometimes people do realize. Although people realize but they still cant make sure we appreciating every moments given.. There will be always something that we regret and never treasure well.. Therefore, we can jus always remind ourselves to appreciate every single things no matter is the good or bad.. IT is still something worth to treasure of in our daily life..

Simple care can be yet so complicated...

2006-07-25T00:21:00.000+08:00

Care,
We might always stand a chance to be the one who care for others and as well as being the one to be care of.. jus depend on situation and what role we are playing on. But which way we play the role most.. or which is the better role.. or izzit a better role there...

Being the one who care for others.. the care we give is hopefully appreciated or welcome by others.. and not a burden to others.. the care and the help we trying to give is hopefully benefit the other and the one we care for.. But we may not underestimate that it might not always turn the positive way.. it might be a burden, a frustration or worsen the situation.. Thus, in this situation.. how much a care should go into? or it might be the time should really think of whether the person to be care wanted someone care or not? Sometimes, never hesitate that people may not want care but need silent..

BEing the one to be care of.. appreciating...happy,feel thankful.. or the negative site.... of frustration!!! Sometimes, people hope to be care of.. but turn up no one care for them.. and it is so depressed for them for not having someone to care for them.. not even familes that they hav to care for them.. orphanage.. they need parents care but they dun have it...but when there are people to care for them.. they may complain they care too much... PEople with families.. may complain families care too much...People feel frustrated to explain and inform too much...When look back.. it jus seem as those who have someone who care for them are not feeling grateful and appreciating.. Not only in family, it occurs anywhere to anyone of the communities.. among friends, among couples, among married couple, among neighbours, among relatives, among people to people relationships

Positive of care.. people learnt to appreciate and be glad and never take things for granted.. while the negative side.. care created jealousy and expectation.. Jealousy occur when people who care didnt manage their care well for everyone..While expectation happen to people who should be care of or people who care for others..

In a positive way of living.. How likely we are to manage care.. How we manage our care for people and how to manage people care on us.. to avoid any of the negatives outcomes... A simple care might bring a smile, while care can be so simple yet so complicated..

Take time thinking about the one you care and the one who care for u.. Do we really manage the care we gave well....or do we care enough for the one who really need our care? and do we really appreciating and no complain about the one who cares so much for us...

MMM

2006-07-09T01:07:00.000+08:00

MMM-The orientation week for the new comer of the university. Went back to Uni recently and while waiting the other day, i saw a bunch of the new comers having the gaming session. It make me reflect back my MMM week past three years when i step in this uni. It should be a fun week.. but as for me its more of a nightmare. Dunno why but it jus seem like a dream and past... So fast threee years i spent in UKm and now is time to leave and grad!

It jus remind me of the day i check the internet. when i found myself getting the admission to UKM.. it is really joy.. but it is sad that one of my good friend cant manage to make it to national university.. It is really sad as for me i think that she is a very smart and intelligent person.. but how come such a person cant get a place to the uni.. at the meanwhile she is there with a few of us checking the admission status.. of all she is the only one cant get in. Therefore although we are happy but it turn to be gloomy..

Next is the time to get into the orientation week.. i was placed to stayed in KKM.. the biggest and and most far kolej at that moment.. from that kolej to my faculty by walking it need more than half an hour. dunno whether lucky or not, as when i first go in... i am sharing a room with a coursemate.. at that moment it is better than some other people as i dunno anyone there. so the life in the kolej jus begin with this coursemate. In the orientation week, not really having fun as dunno anyone there but jus my roommate.. and jus more of socialising with many people although u dun wish too.. then of course being fool by those seniors and facilitators. Running from the cafetaria to the room to change in 5 mins the first nite. I still remember my first night there, it jus feel so lonely and sad as u have no one close to u there or even someone u can really talk to. Jus all stranger around, and the first nite jus dunno why too emotional till i have tears. but luckily very fast i told myself.. to be strong and independent.. it is really time to learn and i manage to go thru it.. from there i try to tell myself to enjoy each day and soon the orientation week will past.. but really the orientation week sem so suffer.. i jus din feel any freedom.. and hated it. The perang dectar, sitting in cafetaria being lecture all the time and early morning a moral talk by the senior.. and making frens with people dun really treat u as friends.. the feeling is really bad.. Then the game session not fun at all... not as fun as what i saw the other day.. maybe because of the kolej is big and many occupants.. so din really get the fun of it.. Thats why, the orientation week seem to be a nightmare to me rather than a good experience.

After the orientation week, everything seem better as there are freedom. But seem that i jus know my roommate who is my coursemate.. so at that moment jus go everywhere with her.. my roommate was a study maniac... so most of the time she want me go library with her.. it is really bored for me.. but no choice.. and that first year really bored.. cause the group of frens i ahve there are the types of quiet and silent.. i mean hardly have fun with them.. not the same type person..

Therefore, MMM is the time u know new friends and choose the friends that u wan to get along with. But of course at that time that u dunno anyone it is good to have frens. although a hi and bye frens is also good.. as there is someone to keep u accompany when it is really bored or the time u have a lot of questions in our mind that u wish someone can provide some answers. But from what i saw the other day is a totally different situation.. where i saw those new comers is so happy and enjoying themselves.. It can always saw them with a smile on their face.. Maybe in a smaller kolej, it is more different and more esy to get close with people. But really glad to see those facilitator and so as the students was having so much fun at the carpark the other days...

Hello and Goodbye

2006-07-06T16:45:00.000+08:00

Two simple greetings that we use to learn in our early age... During our childhood time, teacher always teach us to say hello when we meet anyone while goodbye when leaving.. till today we still apply this manners.

But it seem like it is always easier to say hello then goodbye! There is a TV programme of Hello and Goodbye in Aust.. and from there.. I can always see that Hello always with a happy smile or happy tears... while goodbye always seem so hard and difficult..cause goodbye hardly with a smile.. although it do.. but it always with a sad smile.. And normally it ended with tears.. Why people have tears.. The feelings and tears of missing their loved ones.. or jus worried about the people behind them.. But when look back.. there will not have goodbye without having hello.. Jus like a human life.. when we are born.. ppl around welcome by smile and a big hello.. while a human pass away.. they left the loved one with tears and goodbye forever...

Dunno why have the feeling to blog on this hello and goodbye.. but jus simply. maybe too many people for me to say hello and goodbye at the same time.. " hello, hie , how are you.. and bye, goodbye, take care and keep in touch!!"
Thats Life!!!

Results and the process

2006-06-24T10:48:00.000+08:00

Sumtime.. Parents jus dun understand what their children want.. Parents may jus look on the side that they think is important without concerning the children need and wants.. But of all it depending o what kind of parents we have.. sum parents they will try to talk to children and und.. but sum they jus didnt talk much to their children and jus think the way they think should be the way thier children think!

Sumtime is the results that parents will care of.. whetehr it beneficial or not.. but parents neever think or even wan to know about the process and the progress that their children go through all the way to achieve the result. no matter the result is good or not. Is that really does matter??? Isn't it the process of goiing through and how the child go through and enjoy the process is much more important that jus the results.. i really dun und.. Jus feel taht the process of we going through is much more important than the results.. althought the result is not good but the children enjoy the time going through.. so isn't it worth more than anything..

I jus cant agree with parents that never even want to care or understand their child process of going through anything in their life but jus the results.. a simple example is jus .. parents usually look for the results of their children.. but they never consider about the process their children going thru all the while in their studies process.. What if a child din score good results but enjoy the studies time.. learn and play around. And i gues this child will be more success as this child will have a more social development and may be more easy goin, and sociable.. that a child who always keep on books. without going socializing.. The child may be good and inteligent. but when this child come to the working society or community.. this child might not be a success or happy person!

Maybe today parents.. din realize of this importance.. or maybe they do know but never want to change or even care about.. i dunno.. but this is how i feel that today parents need to change their style of educating and supporting their children.. or else it may jus ended up the children refuse to talk much to the parents.. as the parents seem to be not understanding their child.. Dunno whetehr wat i think of today is rite or not.. but this is how i feel.....

Morning

2006-06-24T10:43:00.000+08:00

A fine sat morning.. that i woke up early.. haha.. really suprise to woke up early instead of jus still sleeping.. as last nite dun really sleep taht early..sum how.. is not that i am not tired or sleepy but jus that i cant get into sleep.. dunno why it is so dry and the nose is block two side that i hardly breath.. ju like struggling hard to get a breath.. then disturbance from sms.. and etc... so all this jus make me gotta wake up although i dun wan to! sigh.. later in the evening must be very tired and sleepy..

Away

2006-06-24T01:49:00.000+08:00

i guess.. i better blog something as i really left here for quite some time.. if still dun blog anything i guess it is like a month without blogging any! anyway.. really feel weird as this is the first time i left my blog so long away without any updates.. hmm..i guess mostly because i am away.. dunno.. suppose to have lotsa to blog.. but recent prob is..i always only blog about the past.. i mean the past thing that i want to blog but i didnt blog at that time.. so it make me to a confucious as i shd blog about now or the past that i wan blog.. sigh.. really pening! oh maybe cause i am in a holiday mood that i intent not to do any.. i really dunno..

Nightmare

2006-05-25T18:51:00.000+08:00

SLeeping time.. long time time i dun have any dreams.. due to not enough time for sleeping and exhaustion.. so normally once i dozes off and thats it.. but this two nights... Jus having dreams.. not good dream but nightmare.. on tues nite.. Sleep around 2+am. but after i dozed off a while and i dreamt!! i dream off i lose my friend laptop.. i really stunt.. cause the dream is so true that i do ask myself am i dreaming in the dream.. and i was told by myself that i am not dreaming.. i really lost my frens laptop because of of careless to put in my car.. and why i am having the laptop with me also because i call my friend to bring along.. in the dream when i know i am not dreaming.. i feel so much guilt on me.. and i really dunno how to apologize or get back all the stuff in the laptop for her..i feeel really really sorry but dunno what i can do cause nothing can replace back this precious thing of her!! and finally i am awake and i asking myself again i am dreaming right!! i asking myself many Qs... and making sure that it is a dream as i didnt have my friend laptop with me and i didnt lost it... Fuh~

Then came yesterday nite.. was very tired.. sleep quite early but later on i was awake by few phone calls.. and i online till 1+am i guess.. and really terrible.. i dream again... and it was nightmare again.. gosh.. this time.. it is worst.. dunno how that i am with my group of friends after yumcha on the way back home.. but i went to the wrong pathway.. so i gotta back alone.. but funny was in the dream i am not driving a car but a motorcycle.. i driving along a small, dark and quiet road.. and suddenly there is this big fat malay woman behind me.. she jus keep folllowing at the back.. i feel so strange i try to run away from her.. but i cant.. then from driving motorcycle..dunno why i am jus walking.. and i getting more slow... slow and slower till i getting more and more curious and sweating + nervous.. but before i am able to say anything.. the big fat woman jus came approach nearer and the last few words i heard from her was.. 'itulah siapa suruh jalan seorang' and she jus take out a sharp and long knife and push forward towards my back.. and then i am hurt and she jus continue as she wanna take revenge on me and chopped me into pieces.. that time i jus feel so much and pain and finaly i get kill by her.. when i realize i am dead.. and that is the time i awake.. i realize.. shit.. i had another terrible nightmare..and it is also around the same time. about 2+am again..there goes my night.. cant sleep well. and feel so much uneasy..

anyway really strange to have this kind of dreams.. but hopefully no more nightmare tonight... i am praying hard... i think i really need myself exhausted till no time to dream while sleping..Gosh!!!

Really dunno!!!

2006-05-08T17:35:00.000+08:00

The things that i wan blog. i ended up didnt blog.. the things that i need to do now, i ended didnt do any now but came in to blog... Aiks.. really dunno why.. really not having the right mood to do the right thing. Blogging.. actually a way to express myself.. but sometime.. i jus thought of blogging may lead to think of many things.. dunno why i got this type of feeling.. Or maybe not blogging which cause the many thinking but jus the mind keep on thinking and the world keep on changing that cause people to keep on thinking many many things.

I suppose to be free and i suppose to be busy.. really dunno am i really busy or really free.. And things which should be doin and rush out.. but i am still doin nothing.. Aiks.. i really dunno what to do.. So many days have been like that... i really wonder.. Hmmm.. now i am planning to start doin at night.. hopefully i really can.. and i am really doin it.. Jus like this afternoon.. i plan doin it but ended up doin nothing.. Sigh~ hope the same incident do not happen again.... Praying hard tonight will start doin my work.. and i am really need to do it.....

Goin abstracting

2006-05-07T01:46:00.000+08:00

"Good life starts only when you stop expecting and wanting a better ones"

God i guess i am into abstracting again... cause in my mind things that i think of and things that i wan to blog is really abstract... cause i am having a lot of question in my mind.. and the changes and happening made me think of the abstract thing.. i wonder why.. and i guess no one wil be able to tell me why unless i found the answer from what i going through.. Life is unpredictable and full of questions!!!!

Day by days

2006-04-30T23:24:00.000+08:00

Time seem to be passing so fast..

And it is really fast...

Missing everything..

surroundings,environment and peoples..

*feelings*

VIva

2006-04-18T12:26:00.000+08:00

After this final viva presentation i thought finally the big stone will be moved out but seem as the weight of the stone have be increased.. What a dull day of presentation.. Getting so frustated, speechless yet so sad... Frustated is because i feel the examiner is ridiculuos in some ways.. Speechless is in term of i dunno what to answer anymore as i guess it is useless to say much more!! Sad .. why i am sad.. it is not about i worry about my gred or because being accuse and scolded so innocently.. but is i dun understand.. why i have put so much efforts to do the best to satisfied and meet the requirements by my lec but in return and the outcomes is seem like what my lec require is not important at all but what the examiner wants seem to be more important... almost need to redo the whole thing..it seem that the earlier instruction that i had follow is useless what i have done earlier and seem like what i think is important in this research seem to be meaningless.. cause in the conclusion is not based on what it satisfied my supervisor.. Can feel so useless and not worth it to continue or put any more efforts on it.. but i have no choice but still need to continue to work it out.. I have no blame on my lecturer but i really suprise that she came to comfort me which make me burst to a few drops of tears after the presentation end.. My first time to have tears after a presentation.. Gosh!!! Even myself so surprise why i have tears.. really unbelievable!

Acceptance

2006-04-16T00:02:00.000+08:00

Acceptance is the answer to all my problems today... I can find no serenity until I Accept that person, place, thing, or situations being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment.

We need to have great patient and true heart to learn what is acceptance.. What is the best acceptance... How we should learn to accept and give away.. Acceptance seem so importance as we din manage to accept what it is... therefore we may burden and keeping ourselves turning around the same matter.. turning in the same circle.. Until we get to accept.. we will soon find the open door.. and correct pathway to guide us out of the trap that we set for ourselves..

Although we trap ourselves and it is also us who seek the way out.. but we always din realize the trapped is created by us.. it is only when we learn to take things easily and we realize what really we need and what the acceptance we need, to keep on our appreciation!

You raise me up

2006-04-13T02:44:00.000+08:00

When I am down and, oh my soul, so weary;

When troubles come and my heart burdened be;

Then, I am still and wait here in the silence,

Until you come and sit awhile with me.

You raise me up,

so I can stand on mountains;

You raise me up,

to walk on stormy seas;

I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;

You raise me up:

To more than I can be.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;

You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;

I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;

You raise me up: To more than I can be.

There is no life - no life without its hunger;

Each restless heart beats so imperfectly;

But when you come and I am filled with wonder,

Sometimes, I think I glimpse eternity.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;

You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;

I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;

You raise me up: To more than I can be.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;

You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;

I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;

You raise me up: To more than I can be.

~ originated by Josh Groban ~

A typical song at this moment. Many people by our side raising us up.. Parents raise us up to be a great human, have the correct moral values and the positive way of learning.... frens raise us up when we are downs and we went to the wrong pathway.. we have our companion raise us up in the future of our life for building and cherish a family together.. and lastly we have many unknown person who walk past our life and make us learn a lesson of the life and their experiences..

Emotion

2006-04-06T23:43:00.000+08:00

Emotion seem to be so abstract..

Difficult to be predicted..

Being too emotionally..

Easily get influence...

Mood to be turn down..

Cheering up..

Is it that easy?

Our single days...

2006-04-03T20:49:00.000+08:00

In every single days,

We may have many things happening around,

The things we hoped.. the things we wished never happened,

The things that will brings us happiness,

The things that brings us sorrow,

Things come and goes as we cant control,

What we can control??

Our emotion towards the happen...

Our thinking towards the happen...

And... finally our attitude towards the happen..

What we did in every single day,

May jus a small deed,

But it may mean a lot to someone...

Appreciating means a lot... to that someone so as us..

If we din manage to understand the importance of appreciating..

Regrets came..

Appreciate and look through the regrets that we have with a smile!!!

Start each day with a smile than with tears....

Unhappy vs happiness

2006-03-26T02:02:00.000+08:00

Long time didnt blog.. as time were too busy to blog.. but now i feel like blogging but jus dunno.. how... this week so busy but yet so many things happening.. Jus knowing that many people and frens around are unhappy... Dunno what can be done to help.. but jus feel that.. anyone of u... reading my blog and feeling unhappy or sad.. i jus wanna wish.. that happiness will soon granted to you all... To those who is unhappy, have probs and frustated.... do take it easy and hope u all found the happiness soon...

"When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us" (Ann Landers)

Untitled...

2006-03-21T01:42:00.000+08:00

Busy...Sleepy....Exhausted...

Speechless

2006-03-11T18:41:00.000+08:00

WORK HARD

i jus gotta work hard. work hard and work hard...

from this second.. this moment...

i must.. i must.. i must !!!!

2006-03-07T22:21:00.000+08:00

What is your feeling now? If it was to happen for you to choose.. between sunset and sun rise.. which will u choose to witness at this time?? Which u prefer??

~at this moment, i guess i will prefer sunset~

The Meanings...

2006-02-25T17:30:00.000+08:00

What it means??

E - extremely HATED by most of the students

X - xtraordinary if there are people who enjoy it

A - a grade that students want in exams

M - a Must for graduating

~a week for examinations~

FLower Fest

2006-02-15T12:36:00.000+08:00

~My 2nd trip with friends~

Rapid kl tour

2006-02-12T15:16:00.000+08:00

THE NEW RAPID KL... The smart way to travel.. RM2.00 for unlimited rides.. Very impress and enjoy with the service given.. Kind and helpful drivers.. who help and explain how we should transfer from bus to bus to our destination. Really convenient as we can jus board the link bus in few minutes once we drop off at the bus station.. A kl city shuttle that connect places of interest.. KLCC - KL central - Titiwangsa - Medan pasar - Maluri.. So awesome.. really enjoy today trip around kl with this rapid kl bus.. really feel like a tourist.. taking pics everywhere..kakaka...

the terrible jam

2006-02-11T22:07:00.000+08:00

A TERRIBLE JAM I HAD ON FRIDAY

A 2 hours jam i had on friday from my way back along the highway from ukm-kl.. jammed till i am too bored.. with the camera in the bag so manage to catch some pic..haha..SIGH~ fuh..as seen in the pic.. stupid touch and go and smart tag lane.. is even worst.. crowded with cars queueing for our turn...meanwhile the others lane on the left..(normal lane) is not crowded and no long queue..weird huh.. i also wonder.. why it is worst with tng card and the so call smart tag..

CNY mood

2006-02-06T21:52:00.000+08:00

Still in the chinese new year mood.. so boring. today attend class.. gotta sit for 3 hours lecture ady...Not so into studies yet cause still in holidays mood.. but after today class.. i realize that i really need prepare my feeling and myself well to concentrate in studies.. NO MORE HOLIDAYS LER cause realize that really got many works not done yet.. many work gotta hand up.. and mid term exam coming liao.. sien.., time to study ler... and not forgetting mid term break coming soon.. mean jus left my last half term at ukm.... Hai.. time seem to be passing so fast... WHY LER...

FGS DONG ZEN

2006-02-01T13:57:00.000+08:00

Lantern cum Flower Festival 2006 at

FGS Dong Zen, Jenjarom, Selangor.

During this chinese new year period, they are having an indoor flora exhibition... really awesome with the decorative of different types of garden with different view of flowers. In this period, there are also other activities.. like praying ceremony, dharma talk, costume parade( haha.. i was lucky to catch this appearance on the day i went!), cultural show, light offering ceremony, pottery exhibition, wooden buddha sculpture exhibition and sutra caligraphy. And the night scenery was really great... therefore.. best time to visit there i guess is during evening.. There are some places where very nice to take photo during day time.. and some places gotta catch the night view...So.. people who are goin or interested to go.. better choose the right timing.. =P

2006-01-29T01:37:00.000+08:00

GONG XI FA CAI

Wishing all my frens.. best of luck in this new year.. Wish everyone have a prosperity, happiness, good opportunities, good health, good careers, new hopes and faith

hApPy DoGGie yEar!!

2006-01-27T16:31:00.000+08:00

FINALLY

Holidays started...schools and works
everyone back....from everywhere
The crazy road jam started
Peaceful and smooth traffic in KL coming soon
Cleaning progress done
Decoration in progress
Preparing new year food
CNY mood everywhere!!

2006-01-25T00:55:00.000+08:00

Louis Brandeis*

Start by doing what's necessary, then what's possible and suddenly you are doing the impossible

Saint Francis*

Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall

2006-01-18T23:55:00.000+08:00

MY masterpiece

Just dunno since when i started drawing many many cute cute character.. Mostly character is cute but when i draw it.. and the outcome became not so cute.. A monkey but ppl said is a hippo, a dinosaur but become crocodile, a dunno what character but become a mixed wolf and dog character.. A slim, cute and beautiful character become a fat and ugly character.. I never judge myself good in drawing.. so as i admit i so weak on that as my results.. always be gred...C,D or E..so jus cant help it as i never improve after so many years.. never artistic!!!

Anonymous

2006-01-18T23:26:00.000+08:00

Haha.. anonymous..
Never thought we only share our blog when u came back here. Or.. I shd said without ur forcing or insist that u want my blog address.. I will never know u blog.. and without ur blog.. I guess I never know the real you.. the real feeling and what u are up to now. I do read on ur blog.. but still haven manage to cover half of it.. well.. need more time.. but found a lot of things there.. found the real you..
I remember that day we jus realize that we know each other for about 9 years.. and it gonna be 10 yrs soon.. all this while jus know that u are very fussy, irritating sometimes(as u purposely), and crazy.. Ur prob.. jus know that u keep to urself and hardly want to share it out.. when u sad.. u jus need someone to talk or maybe someone to listen to u, to talk or entertain u although u are not sharing ur doubts.. I still remember that time u always call up and we chit chatting some lousy stuff and no point stuff on the phone.. and ur hobby.. ring me up in the middle of the night.. chat.. not letting me sleep.. and when I am awake.. u will said it is time to sleep
There was one incident I will never forget.. the longest period we quarrel and din talk to each other in schools.. was 1+1/2 yrs..wow.. think back really a record.. but it jus turn to a smile on the face when think about this after so many yrs..
It has been about dunno how many yrs u are not here.. I also forget.. but jus remember that time u told me u will goin oversea.. and it was like.. gosh.. u gotta go so far away.. and that time really worry what u will be when back.. worry that u will change.. worry u will not be the same.. worry that we will not be as close as b4.. worry u are not so crazy..
But really lucky.. lucky after u hav been away for few years but when we meet up.. jus can say that u are the same crazy person!!!
By the way.. about what u realize.. from the way we communicate.. arguing all the time jus as u treating me like ur sis.. I shd said… erm… maybe and it look really alike too…
Wah.. then this mean I lucky??? Wahahahha…
Finally jus wan to let u know.. U will not be alone.. any probs.. u need to share.. there always a bunch of us who are willing to listen!!!.. so take care.. buddy!!! All the Best!!!

2006-01-10T17:54:00.000+08:00

Words...
Words are communication tools,
Words can express one's feelings,
Words can do many more things,
But not everything can be seen clearly through words.
Action speaks louder than words,
Sometimes words cant do everything.
If only a person knows how to use them,
If only words are perfectly combined,
If only v know how to use words....

Sick.. sick..

2006-01-06T23:14:00.000+08:00

Aiks.. sick from the first day of the new year!! coughing..getting better... sore throat..getting better.. and now getting worse again!! haih!! lazy go for doctor also.. jus myself become doc.. prescribe own medicine//haha..
by the way.. i guess should be the weather which causing many people around jus having the same sickness!!
hmm. a busy week.. classes started.. and seem like there are some people who are so free yet some people that are so busy.. but this last sem.. jus seem like a struggle and hectic time for everyone to rush out the thesis.. more and more people having the same prob..; busy about the same thing.. what else??? THESIS!!!! The hot topic that burden all final year students...
Why do we need thesis?? why some lec are so good and why some lec are so lousy and fussy!!
Bsides thesis.. a familiar thing.. assignments!!! haih.. more n more started to get in and loaded!
Argh...having some muscle pains!! all bcoz not use to exercise.. btw hope all go well if having continuous exercise every week.. jus hope..the exercise schedule will be continue!!
tsk..tsk..tsk.. really struggle coughing!! haih.. hope it recover soon.. and dun get worse!!

Year...2006

2006-01-01T21:25:00.000+08:00

2005 Has sped by..
Now, we need to face 2006......
There may be risks involved,
We may need to face roadblocks,
So stay alert,
Share time with friends,
Jump over obstacles,
With care And caution,
Face challenges,
Remember to laugh
Cooperate, Discover,
Make new friends
Above all...be ready for adventure,
Stick together,
And you will be able to go far...Very far.....
Well, not quite that far....
Always take time to smell the flowers,
Don't forget to relax and enjoy,
And never forget to love those dearest,

May God Bless...

First blog of the year... the new year doesn't seem good and smooth as getting sick jus on the first day of the year!!!

Bye...Year 2005...

2005-12-31T23:20:00.000+08:00

Another hour more is the time to close the curtain for the year of 2005..

Wonder now must be a lotsa people out to bintang walk, the mines, putrajaya, klcc, bangsar and other place of interest to countdown.. waving to the year of 2005 and welcoming the new year.. Year of 2006...

Hmmm.. agree with my fren opinion.. am i being too tired, old enough or cant stand the HuHUHAha... countdown... jus like old people staying at home... although it is abit of this kind of feeling.. but what to do.. no money!!! although got frens urge to come out and join the crowd but jus too tired and too lazy to join in.. maybe the memories of millenium countdown still fresh in mind.. The crowds, the jam, the suffocated, the loss and the missing incident.. too much of memories and experiences....

Hmmm.. Year of 2005.. FAMILY... full of worries in the early of the year.. problems in the mid year and finally end of the year so..so... UNI.. busy year... good achievement in studies... great memories and gain much experiences in PT... but a bit losing touch with coursemates and PT25 big family..excos and childrens.. MYSELF... din achieve much aims.. not much confidence in many things.. not much motion.. and not much of achievements... but gain weight...argh...

So.. Year of 2006.. ermm.. having some plans.. aim.. hopefully having a great start in evertything... furthermore.. year of graduation... sien.. time to think of future.. further studies??? or jus start working??? Year of environment change.. Once uni life end.. things gotta change.. the living environment, frens and others... Gosh.. will be missing the frens that accomodate my uni life for this 3 yrs... the uni.. although too many complains but still... is the place that i got my cert.. and build up my knowledge...hai.. year of 2006... so fast...

Hope everything will be smooth this coming new year!!! Cheersssss.... 2006

HAPPY NEW YEAR ...2006...

burning..

2005-12-31T17:32:00.000+08:00

burning..
get so fed up at home..
Jus feel like i should not be at home...
then my life will be easier..

Every year having the same problem.. being so unfair..
Jus feel so speechless..
i wonder.. if voice out dissatisfaction will it be better??
but if i really do.. i guess the big war wil jus begin..
Do i hav the enough patient to remain silent and calm??

Or i shall jus learnt to be smart...
Away from house maybe is a good solution..
Sometimes.. not having much time at home..
really does better.. and feel more comfortable..
Do i really having the correct thinking??
i jus wonder!!

Parents action sometimes jus make their children dun feel like staying at home!!

MY TEMPORARY STAY

2005-12-20T22:06:00.000+08:00

WILL BE MISSING ALL OF YOU

Will be missing the time and laughter that i had with them last semester... Have a great stay with the five of them last sem.. Although last semester din spent much time at home with them but still enjoy their companion and the joy we had together.. They make my temporary stay at that place full of merriment, memories and so grateful get to know all of them.. By the way.. i guess i finally leave them in peace.. with my existence in that house.. i really make them busy by disturbing them room to room..hahah...alright.. time to leave but look like i havent finish the task they assign to me.. aiks.. gotta accomplish it as soon as possible!!!

13th DEC.... 2005

2005-12-18T01:09:00.000+08:00

Last year on this date.. grandpa was admitted to hospital… having the 2nd attack of stroke and half paralysed.. whole family was so busy rushing up and downs to hospital.. as grandpa condition was quite serious.. early plan when mum and dad planning a great celebration with me jus turn down gloomy…even me dun have the mood..Last year and previous year of this date dun seem a good day as each year some bad thing will jus happen.. still fresh in mind.. in year of 2000 my grandma of mother side jus pass away few days before this date.. and there is one year.. I got a hamster as a birthday present but the hamster died on the same day…

Therefore sometimes.. jus so afraid any bad thing will jus happen again.. But so thankful this year all the bad things jus flew away…Having an enjoyable and happy day on 13th dec this year.. really full of suprises day.. and great part is finally I got a cake this year.. jus seem as a long time din get a cake for bday.. And I still remember I told myself before that if I dun hav a cake this year I will surely buy myself a cake for celebration…hahahah…
Celebration at redbox.. really awesome.. with cakes and big present surprises.. although the cake din taste good but still great as I had a cake this year..finally…and most surprising is… on my 22th birthday.. I got a big and huge PATRICK dog as my birthday present.. really cant imagine.. 22th bday with a huge dog soft toy.. and not forgetting the shirt with the dog…jus wondering. Am I really act so kiddies in front of my frens as most of the times I got soft toy as my present.. well.. I really like it but jus feel like so kiddies.. haih.. what to do.. maybe I am jus like that..hahaha…not forgetting the most important is people around.. having u all celebrating with me that night really make me feel so touch.. especially those who purposely rush from far away.. Thanks seem so little to say for so much!!! Jus feel guilty and sorry as that day was too tired and burden with some problems.. where din really express how happy and grateful I am to hav the time with them on this date…
Celebration at Chilis’… having great time with u all too although jus few of us and not the 7 of us.. by the way I feel so grateful as I always the lucky ones.. to have ky and wh around as most of the time it will be hols during this date..hahah.. well..thanks for the surprise.. ML is really a good actress… act so professionally with sound effect make me without any suspicious signs.. but what a pity to hide at the back of the car.. really salute for having such a superb idea… really got me a shock and numb.. a person who should be at Hong Kong suddenly back to M’sia and wish me with cakes from the back of the restaurant…First saw her really dunno what to say but jus too happy to say anything.. really thanks a lot.. Although the food that night was not that nice but jus the time together was great.. both flavour of the cake taste better than the food I guess..hahaha..
Somehow.. I got a present which related to berries.. things that I hated… gosh a lotion and soap from body shop.. argh.. how come is strawberry….why cant be other flavours??? Why must berries??? Yucky… Luckily it didn’t smell that worst…

So there goes my birthday celebration this year.. Really feel so grateful to have all of you around on this date this year… Not forgetting the most important ppl.. my family.. although they didn’t went out or have a great celebration with me but I really feel their intention to have a nice day with me.. but I think it is enough to know their favours although din manage to go out together.. btw their health is more important than celebration.. Really thankful to have such a great day on this date with all my frens and family..

A tiring week..

2005-12-16T21:10:00.000+08:00

wow.. time really past so fast..
this weeek seem jus past in a glance.. didnt realize today is already friday..
Fu~... happy as getting two day rest... as well as two day away from lab work... hah.. feel so relief.. never thought doing lab everyday is so tiring.. tired from walking up and down, tired of waiting, tired of thinking solution to make the result significant.. and tired of working in a tensed and rush hour environment... feel so pressure and hectic.. at first thought it is jus simple.. no really until i try in on my own.. no one to help you but jus alone.. alone to make ur own lab work.. or own to be serious to work out the presentable result and no more free and easy like what lab time in 2nd year..
the most difficult thing is dealing with machine.. be patient to get the turn to use the entire machine.. the patient dealing with lab assistant to help work out the expensive machine.. the guide and help needed to explore the machine.. the do and don't criteria for the sample before running machine.. and the worst when came to borrowing tools from lab assistant and breaking any glass ware.. they will kill u.. with their words.. there is one of my fren who is pending from do her lab for two weeks jus because she break something accidentally.. and now her lab work jus hanging.. and delayed!!!
me.. working almost four days in lab.. waiting and waiting.. doing the lab.. with corrective method.. finally get a solution adn finalize my lab method.. everyt hope to go smoothly as i can start to run my samples on monday.. but jus dunno what is the results.. what if after four days working on so much method to work out the suitable sample to run on the instrusment.. if the end the samples is not giving any results.. what i should do by then.. start all over or giving up.. die hard.. touch wood and hope all go smoothly till i get my results.. pls.. i jus gotta pray hard i guess..

hopefully results can get by the samples that i had prepare these few days and everything can be done before 21th.. so that i can hav a happy and relaxing hols... aiks... really need a break!!!

Chatting..

2005-12-07T18:28:00.000+08:00

Online chatting.. seem like it is getting more popular for people to chat using MSN messenger,yahoo messenger,icq and mirc... well.. past few years MIRC seem to be the popular ones.. that people are familiar with it... then it came to ICQ... sending and replying msg and new version came with more functions.. and nowadays we jus heard MSN and yahoo messenger.. well.. today finally i got my own MSN messenger login..hahah.. consider a very outdated action.. as people around jus complaining as i not having a MSN messenger account... Maybe i jus not at the right path.. as most of the people chatting using msn while i jus use my yahoo and icq.. past few weeks.. my frens ask me what is ur msn account.. i told them..sorry i din have one.. as they jus reply...'WHAT...OH GOD!!..how come as people around all using this"
haha.. i jus dun care as i jus feel comfortable with the ones i am using... until today.. my frens finally cant stand me.. as she came to my house so she jus register and download the latest msn messenger in my computer... walau.. look like people getting so aggresive???.. MSN messenger i wonder what so great on this... hahah.. it seem to be a good thing also as i have another addition of chatting messenger...

Decision on life...

2005-12-06T23:52:00.000+08:00

Have been thinking on these lately....

A patient that met with an accident.. was lucky enough to be save but a tragedy seem to be happening as the patient is being paralysed from the neck down.. he jus cant move, cant speak and only can express himself and answering questions by blinking on his eyes.. he jus spending the rest of his life on the bed.. he is once a very active boy but now he is jus numbness....he is born from a single parent family.. only have his mother to work hard and save for the living of his son. his living is rely on the machine, rely on his mother to bath him, exercise him and understand him..

One day the patient wish that he will be given a solution, a decision to be given natural death as the solution to end up his burden to his mother, and the solution to end up his efforts to struggle every minutes of life!! From this, many questions occur?? Shall he be given his human rights to make his decision in his life?? Is it correct for him to end up his life or shall he continue to struggle every minutes to the end?? Is there any miracle will happen to him?? A chance for him to recover? Shall the doctor fullfill what the patient decision?? or is the doctor doing the correct thing for saving his life?? Doctor save his life but he for having his life need to suffer for every minutes he live... Have the doctor think of the patient feeling of suffering for the rest of his time but having a chance to continue living!! Do the doctor need to think of this?? What about the mother... the son would like to give up his life while the mother wants his son to struggle and hold on to his life.. Is the mother doing a correct thing by wanting his son to live... Parents was the one who given their child a chance to reach this world and having their life but at the end.. the child should be the one who shall have the rights or the parents should have the rights to give an end to the children life?? Is the mother correct with her perceptions??

A similar incident happen in US.. a wife who suffer from the same condition as the boy... this wife was even doubtful that she didnt manage to let other people know what she wanted the best for herself.. a conflict happens between the husband and the parents of the wife.. the husband wants his wife to have a natural death as he belief this is a better solution for his wife..while the parents disagree and belief thier daughter will prefer to hold on to her life.. In this no one knows what the best and what the patient want... the conflict went up to court and finally an order from the court was foods will not given to the wife... and the wife jus struggle few days of living without foods and finally she jus passed away.. On this.. no one really know is it a solution to the wife or is it jus a force to dead.. will it be a relief for the wife to walk away her life or....

Which decision is the best?? Whose decision should be follow?? a very subjective topic... different people in different role will have its own view.. Shall we jus respect the patient wish or ... really wonder in this kind of situations.... who are the ones having the rights???

Digital photos

2005-12-05T17:24:00.000+08:00

Having a digital camera.. make one life more convenient but make more people having more photos and taking up more photos.. Developing photo job seem to be more less often as photos seem to be choosen and gather together in many pieces and develope once.
Previous month.. i develope all my latest photos while i still have some savings... well.. it jus dunno consider a good job or not.. as this month have been so broke.. if i delay till this month likely no money to develope.. but it is jus so unfair.. this month the same photo shop have offer a lower developing price per piece... DOINK!!! From rm0.39 went down to rm0.35.. although it is jus 4cents but when counted in a bulk.. it was like i pay more for about rm8... ARGH.. enough to cover car park expenses...Jus so UNFAIR....hai... fated!!!

Translated Article

2005-12-05T17:02:00.000+08:00

A masterpiece of mandarin translated article... quiet meaningful and true.. indeed!!

I want to say thank you to you, because of you, I am not alone
I want to say thank you to you, because of you, I have mails in my mailbox
I want to say thank you to you, because of you, I have someone to talk to when I am lonely and bored
I want to say thank you to you, because of you, I have people to calm me down when I am sad and angry
I want to say thank you to you, because of you, I have a chance to share the great things with people
I want to say thank you to you, for walking thru this life with me.
Hope that you will continue this journey with me, will you?
There was once the relationship with friend is very close
But when you are busy with your own stuff, it is kind of like lost the connection
So, the friendship which is not strong enough to stand this, just gone like that
Ever since, you and your friend become a ‘hi & bye’ friend
The secrets which used to share is no long exist
The feeling of losing a close friend is really bad...
There are many types of friend
Friends that approach when you have benefits for them, ‘Hi & bye friend’, hang out friend
The quantity of these kinds of friends doesn’t matter
But…
For good friends, the priority is given to quality but not quantity
Good friend… you can talk to him/her on anything again and again.
Yet he/she can listen to you patiently till your last word and tell you,
‘Buddy, your ‘technique’ is getting better oh!’
‘Keep it up!’
‘Your love one must be waiting you to be growing up in this relationship.’
And a real good friend, is pouring you cold water when you are happy..
‘You know what, don’t be too happy on this too earlier...’
So what are the topics between you and your friend?
Your deep down heart feelings? Joking around? Or just talk rubbish?
Or maybe some are talking about life principle?
Opinions on your life or perspective towards life?
Sometimes, chatting with friend when you are free, is a great enjoyment.
But, to find a friend that you can really chat with is very hard.
It is extremely difficult to find the one whom you can fully express yourself .
Do you have this friend whom you can talk to?
Misunderstanding is the ‘killer’ of social life,
Communication problems are the ‘drug’ for friendship.
If, there is any weird feelings in your heart,
I hope that both of you can communicate to deal with it.
Because… having a friend,
It depends on many factors… you know.. It is not easy…
But if you think that the person is not worth it… then just let go lo..
Misunderstanding maybe scary,
But I think doubtness is even scary.
Doubtful came from not trusting each other
Maybe,
Misunderstanding is caused by many incidents.
But
Doubt is the results of feeling for not trusting people.
What an awful viewpoint!
Love is undeniable adorable.
But if many things are forgotten due to love…
I think after the love disappear,
The people who desperately need for love will die quickly,
It is like human live without oxygen
Slowly… suffocate in his own world…
People who don’t have love, they will not know the wonderful of love.
People who don’t have friendship, they will not know the beauty of it.

Stay away..

2005-11-30T15:04:00.000+08:00

Staying away....
bypassing, avoiding, running away... from lec room..
chicken hearted, anxious.... of meeting my lec...
suspicious of places my lec will be..
and taking different route so that may not meet her..
past few days that i went back there..
but was lucky enough to avoid her...
today.. a safe day.. for not going back.. but..
FATE... the most safe place was the most dangerous place..
URGH... she jus call me up..
and this time no way to run... hai.. SURRENDER!!!

EDUCATION

2005-11-29T21:10:00.000+08:00

A friend and I came across this question??
"Is today education influence the thinking of today's students?"
In terms of a mandarin educated person and a malay-english educated person..

A friend that told me a malay-english educated person will never work or putting efforts in getting more privilege for the chinese while a mandarin educated person will be more dedicated and put the efforts in getting the priority for the chinese.. A malay-english educated person may think of malaysian privilege.. which is malay,chinese,indian while a mandarin educated person will really understand the importants and the needed action of getting the privilege for the chinese race.

i wonder why.. is it really the education base that influence our thinking.. i being to the same condition, thinking the same thing.. being a malay-english educated person and surprisingly survive in a chinese and mandarin oriented society.. from dun understand why the chinese must stress the only chinese so much.. till i really can feel the importance and how this kind of efforts is needed... but just wonder is it a wrong perception for the malay-english educated chinese person whose thinking is neutralize and thinking for all races instead of its own race???

What is the perception of chinese educated person towards malay-english educated person?? will this kind of people jus consider malay-english educated person as the chinese who do not protect chinese??? i really wonder..

I being ask many times... do u regret that u dunno chinese? i would said i did.. as a chinese dunno how to read chinese or even write chinese.. really feel ashamed at some times.. but it depend whether we use the language or not.. before this.. i think chinese language not important and didn't feel that i regret as i do not need to use it.. but as i grow.. i found many things we needed chinese language.. for social, working, interpretation or instructions.. although malay-english educated people will feel ashamed of dunno their mother tongue language but it is not what they wish.. as education base for a child is choosen by the parents and the child is not given the chance to choose but jus the chance to learn what language given to them. but sometimes jus feel hurt enough when being laugh or tease of not knowing our own language...

I would said maybe the best combination should be chinese-malay-english education in different stages given to a child.. and parents should give more efforts to educate the children on their mother tongue language... hope in the future there will be more children being educated in their mother tongue language..

UNDECISIVE...

2005-11-28T22:35:00.000+08:00

Undecided..
tHinK.. tHinK... tHinK and kEeP on ThInKinG...
advantages cum disadvantages...
SOLUTIONS CUM SETTLEMENT...
go... sTaY.. LeAvinG...
cHanCes.. ChOiCes...
wHat tHe bEsT i Can Do????

ixshfhtuopewdhjkmnbvi

KL...

2005-11-28T22:16:00.000+08:00

Situation of KL traffic jam really hardly be overcome.. too many cars in the roads.. more and more people can afford a car.. more and more people needed a car and more and more people need travel such a distance to work and study.. highways and roads still the same.. but cars keep on increasing.. can easily get the picture of it when look at the registration and tender of plat number... a single morning number of car plat being taken really numerous..

Having traffic jam already make people feel impatient.. but it is more terrible when come to the cut-queue thing... it is normal .. but cutting queue when there is only one lane and queueing at the toll... really ridiculous and terrible... moreover is those big bus and big truck... they are not only big but is superb long... cutting queue is wrong summore want to block other people lane... really uncivilized action..

BIG vs SMALL is another common thing.. big buses and trucks especially company trading transport are the big bullies while the victims..in the road.. what else... small little kancils and kenari...

BIG vs SMALL = steel vs milo tin....

~HuSTLe BuStLe CiTy iN tHe DowN cItY~