"Do not hide yourself, and keep living in the past.. Past is always a past.. The merry and joy always bury in the memorable memories. What you have and can be done in the reality and present is the most appreciated things that you can treasure thru the times goes by. Stop thinking, stop the tears but start moving... " Aya
Saturday, April 21, 2007
Friday, April 20, 2007
March 9th (3 月 9 日)
A very nice song that i like from One litre Of Tears
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ir7oziQMV48
nagareru kisetsu no mannaka de
futo hi no nagasa wo kanjimasu
sewashiku sugiru hibi no naka ni
watashi to anata de yume wo egaku
in the midst of flowing seasons,
I suddenly feel the length of the days
in the midst of passing restless days,
you and I are painting our dreams
sangatsu no kaze ni omoi wo nosete
sakura no tsubomi wa haru e to tsudzukimasu
place our feelings in the wind of March
where the sakura blossoms are going towards spring
afuredasu hikari no tsubu ga
sukoshizutsu asa wo atatamemasu
ookina akubi wo shita ato ni
sukoshi tereteru anata no yoko de
grains of light are overflowing,
bit by bit, starting to warm the morning
and after a big yawn,
i’m feeling a bit awkward by your side
arata na sekai no iriguchi ni tachi
kidzuita koto wa hitori ja nai tte koto
standing at the door to a new world,
what I realized is that I’m not alone
hitomi wo tojireba anata ga
mabuta no ura ni iru koto de
dore hodo tsuyoku nareta deshou
anata ni totte watashi mo, sou de aritai…
if i close my eyes, you are
always behind my eyelids
isn’t that what made me stronger?
I, too, want to be like that for you…
suna bokori hakobu tsumoji kaze
sentakumono ni karamarimasu ga
hiru mae no sora no shiroi tsuki wa
nanda ka kirei de mitoremashita
the dust-carrying whirlwinds
are entangling the laundry
but the white moon before the noon sky
was so beautiful that I’m fascinated
umaku wa ikanu koto mo aru keredo
ten wo oogeba sore sae chiisakute
there are things that didn’t go well, but
compared to the sky, they seem so small
aoi sora wa rin to sunde
hitsuji kumo wa shizuka ni yureru
hana saku wo matsu yorokobi wo
wakachi aeru no de areba, sore wa shiawase
the blue sky, by the moment
the fluffy clouds are swaying quietly
the pleasure of waiting for the blooming petals,
if we can share it, then that’s a blessing
kono saki mo tonari de, sotto hohoende…
from now on, smile gently beside me…
hitomi wo tojireba anata ga
mabuta no ura ni iru koto de
dore hodo tsuyoku nareta deshou
anata ni totte watashi mo, sou de aritai…
if i close my eyes, you are
always behind my eyelids
isn’t that what made me stronger?
I, too, want to be like that for you...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ir7oziQMV48
nagareru kisetsu no mannaka de
futo hi no nagasa wo kanjimasu
sewashiku sugiru hibi no naka ni
watashi to anata de yume wo egaku
in the midst of flowing seasons,
I suddenly feel the length of the days
in the midst of passing restless days,
you and I are painting our dreams
sangatsu no kaze ni omoi wo nosete
sakura no tsubomi wa haru e to tsudzukimasu
place our feelings in the wind of March
where the sakura blossoms are going towards spring
afuredasu hikari no tsubu ga
sukoshizutsu asa wo atatamemasu
ookina akubi wo shita ato ni
sukoshi tereteru anata no yoko de
grains of light are overflowing,
bit by bit, starting to warm the morning
and after a big yawn,
i’m feeling a bit awkward by your side
arata na sekai no iriguchi ni tachi
kidzuita koto wa hitori ja nai tte koto
standing at the door to a new world,
what I realized is that I’m not alone
hitomi wo tojireba anata ga
mabuta no ura ni iru koto de
dore hodo tsuyoku nareta deshou
anata ni totte watashi mo, sou de aritai…
if i close my eyes, you are
always behind my eyelids
isn’t that what made me stronger?
I, too, want to be like that for you…
suna bokori hakobu tsumoji kaze
sentakumono ni karamarimasu ga
hiru mae no sora no shiroi tsuki wa
nanda ka kirei de mitoremashita
the dust-carrying whirlwinds
are entangling the laundry
but the white moon before the noon sky
was so beautiful that I’m fascinated
umaku wa ikanu koto mo aru keredo
ten wo oogeba sore sae chiisakute
there are things that didn’t go well, but
compared to the sky, they seem so small
aoi sora wa rin to sunde
hitsuji kumo wa shizuka ni yureru
hana saku wo matsu yorokobi wo
wakachi aeru no de areba, sore wa shiawase
the blue sky, by the moment
the fluffy clouds are swaying quietly
the pleasure of waiting for the blooming petals,
if we can share it, then that’s a blessing
kono saki mo tonari de, sotto hohoende…
from now on, smile gently beside me…
hitomi wo tojireba anata ga
mabuta no ura ni iru koto de
dore hodo tsuyoku nareta deshou
anata ni totte watashi mo, sou de aritai…
if i close my eyes, you are
always behind my eyelids
isn’t that what made me stronger?
I, too, want to be like that for you...
Buddies at CAF
The younger generation of CAFPeople i work with.. People i complain with.. People i struggle with.....
Pictures of my last day of work (19th of March 2007)
A great accompany throughout the 6 months...
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
Movies
Recently there are not many nice movies this month but there are two comedy that attracts my attention. That's Mr. Bean Holidays and Just Follow the Law.. Really plan to watch these both movies.. but too bad till now, i have not have the opportunity to watch it yet... And i wonder, the movies now is mark with esterich ady.. and maybe later it will stop showing ady... Aiks.. Sometimes really thought of going movie alone... But my last experience of movie alone.. Like a sopo.. but that time was a tragedy and sad movie.. This is a comedy movie maybe not too bad.. but my bro told me about a guy who go for the movie alone and sat beside him, laugh on his own.. and seem like so crazy.. Adn it pull me back.. Argh..... Look like probably ended up on DVds.. Haih.....
By the way, if compare these both movies... heard the votes for Just Follow Law is much higher and more supportive... Hmmm.. dunno....
Day for praying..
Qing Ming,
One of the Chinese yearly occasion, youngs, adults and the old folks.. Go praying at the cemetery. As usual, my family always does this occasion after the actual day to avoid the hectic jam and crowds.. But this year we met the crowd.. and stuck in the jam. Guess everyone is praying a weekend later to prevent the hectic jam. But turn up unexpectedly!
This year Qing Ming turns out to be a good day of get together. At each of the graveyards we went, we spent a longer time there this year, all was busy doing the cleaning, grass cutting, painting, praying, serving the food and burning the materials. And the olds and adults start to teach the younger generation about the tradition of praying, recognizing the cemetery of our ancestors. At least grandma did not grumble or complain we come back early.. as in we caught in the jam and we took approximate 4 hours to accomplish the process.
But very weird thinking I have every year at this time, maybe I have see my grandpa condition as very critical. Really hate myself to have this type of thinking. Dunno since when,, after every year of Qing Ming, I had always afraid that I will need to pray my Grandpa next year on these day.. but, of course please touch wood and crossed my fingers.. saying no for that..
Dedication to grandpa,
It has been 3 years you surviving in the condition you are now. We glad we still have you around these days with us. We should be grateful..
But it was pain and hurt enough to see the condition you are nowadays. You was a strong man before and now you dun even have energy to stand or walk on ur own nor to eat or speak your mind of to us. Everyday we can only able to serve you the best with meals, a lazy chair for laying down. Seeing you eating so many medicine just to prolong your life and not enjoying every moments of your life.. really make us wonder are we doing the correct thing..
Sometimes I feel really useless. Cause really nothing I can do for you.. A least before this, when u are in pain, I can drive you to the doctor. When u complain of your legs , can get you some massagers. When u need help, u will voice it out.. But now.. really nothing I can do more.. Sometimes, you dun even recognize me or even wan to open your eye to see us or to talk to us. Sometimes, really really hope u know what we trying to talk to you..
I still remember last year during my convocation day, I kneel in front of you telling you that I finally graduated from the university. You didn’t give me any reaction and I dunno whether you know about it or not. But in my heart I really hope you know. Cause still fresh in mind, the first day I pack my stuffs and ready to go off to register to the university, you still in good health and you walk to me, give me a two hundreds dollars to buy things I needed and reminded me to study hard. I am really touched and I promise myself on my day of graduation I will take my grandma and grandpa together with me. But unfortunately, after a short period of this, on my day of graduation he no longer can walk or even know what really happening around him. Sometimes he does and sometimes he does not. And of course the promise cannot be fulfill and it is a regrets.
But at least, sometimes the condition does not be so bad.. as we consider u can recognize or know whats going on, when u give us a simple smile. And of course I hope that u always will..
One of the Chinese yearly occasion, youngs, adults and the old folks.. Go praying at the cemetery. As usual, my family always does this occasion after the actual day to avoid the hectic jam and crowds.. But this year we met the crowd.. and stuck in the jam. Guess everyone is praying a weekend later to prevent the hectic jam. But turn up unexpectedly!
This year Qing Ming turns out to be a good day of get together. At each of the graveyards we went, we spent a longer time there this year, all was busy doing the cleaning, grass cutting, painting, praying, serving the food and burning the materials. And the olds and adults start to teach the younger generation about the tradition of praying, recognizing the cemetery of our ancestors. At least grandma did not grumble or complain we come back early.. as in we caught in the jam and we took approximate 4 hours to accomplish the process.
But very weird thinking I have every year at this time, maybe I have see my grandpa condition as very critical. Really hate myself to have this type of thinking. Dunno since when,, after every year of Qing Ming, I had always afraid that I will need to pray my Grandpa next year on these day.. but, of course please touch wood and crossed my fingers.. saying no for that..
Dedication to grandpa,
It has been 3 years you surviving in the condition you are now. We glad we still have you around these days with us. We should be grateful..
But it was pain and hurt enough to see the condition you are nowadays. You was a strong man before and now you dun even have energy to stand or walk on ur own nor to eat or speak your mind of to us. Everyday we can only able to serve you the best with meals, a lazy chair for laying down. Seeing you eating so many medicine just to prolong your life and not enjoying every moments of your life.. really make us wonder are we doing the correct thing..
Sometimes I feel really useless. Cause really nothing I can do for you.. A least before this, when u are in pain, I can drive you to the doctor. When u complain of your legs , can get you some massagers. When u need help, u will voice it out.. But now.. really nothing I can do more.. Sometimes, you dun even recognize me or even wan to open your eye to see us or to talk to us. Sometimes, really really hope u know what we trying to talk to you..
I still remember last year during my convocation day, I kneel in front of you telling you that I finally graduated from the university. You didn’t give me any reaction and I dunno whether you know about it or not. But in my heart I really hope you know. Cause still fresh in mind, the first day I pack my stuffs and ready to go off to register to the university, you still in good health and you walk to me, give me a two hundreds dollars to buy things I needed and reminded me to study hard. I am really touched and I promise myself on my day of graduation I will take my grandma and grandpa together with me. But unfortunately, after a short period of this, on my day of graduation he no longer can walk or even know what really happening around him. Sometimes he does and sometimes he does not. And of course the promise cannot be fulfill and it is a regrets.
But at least, sometimes the condition does not be so bad.. as we consider u can recognize or know whats going on, when u give us a simple smile. And of course I hope that u always will..
Sunday, April 08, 2007
Stages of working adaption
Went to some sort of a talk. Not much inspiration that i get.. But there is one thing i found was quite correct.. Is what the someone told me about the stages of working adaption. In the working cycle..
First Stage :
When you first join in a company... You will never think of you will be leaving or resigning.. You think of you have a new life, new environment and new challenge to go through in your future.
Second Stage :
After joining some time, you start to found something that u dislike and uncomfortable with the company. U start to be a bit miserable.. but you still look for the future prospect you have in this company, looking forward that it might be a changes at some time. And you still can deal with the dislikes and uncomfort issue there.
Third Stage :
You start to feel that the future prospect and the positive wit the company does not really hold your motivation to stayed on with the company.. you start to realize nothing much u can learn from there..you wille have less and less motivation, start to feel grey with the company.. At this stage, you will either still working day by day just to survive for the sake of the needs to work and do not work extra or have initiative to work more for the company. Or you start to think of it may be a time for a change of job.. You start to consider for a resignation..
Fourth Stage :
The last stage or the ultimate stage, where you reach the maximum.. You no longer can stand or stay with the company. The Stage you really want a resignation to release yourself.. and at this stage you should have the resignation letter on your hand and deciding when is your last commenment date.
I found that this four stage of working adaption really true as in i go thru myself. We maybe struggling as we might not want to quit in an early stage although we see there is something wrong.. most of the tiem we would try to struggle on, move on cause we do not want to declare that we lose or not trying to fight it thru.
But i the other way, we try to struggle on to gain more experience and a better record of your resume for the next job hunting.. BUT.. if we keep on struggling in something that u learn nothing, although we get a longer period of working experience.. but in your next job hunting or during your interviewing.. people see it as nothing.. people see it as a waste..
So i found when u believe in struggling for a longer period .. it might not seem to be as true as what u believe.. Time is precious.. The time that u spent struggling in the company.. you may seen it as experience. but it may also seen it as time wasting as you might leave out the job opportunities that u have at that moment..
So, frens... if you really found yourself in stage three.. do be rational and really think of can you still bear with it and have courage to make the move.. Take a step ahead!
Wishing everyone have a satisfying job on hand... I wish i am too..
First Stage :
When you first join in a company... You will never think of you will be leaving or resigning.. You think of you have a new life, new environment and new challenge to go through in your future.
Second Stage :
After joining some time, you start to found something that u dislike and uncomfortable with the company. U start to be a bit miserable.. but you still look for the future prospect you have in this company, looking forward that it might be a changes at some time. And you still can deal with the dislikes and uncomfort issue there.
Third Stage :
You start to feel that the future prospect and the positive wit the company does not really hold your motivation to stayed on with the company.. you start to realize nothing much u can learn from there..you wille have less and less motivation, start to feel grey with the company.. At this stage, you will either still working day by day just to survive for the sake of the needs to work and do not work extra or have initiative to work more for the company. Or you start to think of it may be a time for a change of job.. You start to consider for a resignation..
Fourth Stage :
The last stage or the ultimate stage, where you reach the maximum.. You no longer can stand or stay with the company. The Stage you really want a resignation to release yourself.. and at this stage you should have the resignation letter on your hand and deciding when is your last commenment date.
I found that this four stage of working adaption really true as in i go thru myself. We maybe struggling as we might not want to quit in an early stage although we see there is something wrong.. most of the tiem we would try to struggle on, move on cause we do not want to declare that we lose or not trying to fight it thru.
But i the other way, we try to struggle on to gain more experience and a better record of your resume for the next job hunting.. BUT.. if we keep on struggling in something that u learn nothing, although we get a longer period of working experience.. but in your next job hunting or during your interviewing.. people see it as nothing.. people see it as a waste..
So i found when u believe in struggling for a longer period .. it might not seem to be as true as what u believe.. Time is precious.. The time that u spent struggling in the company.. you may seen it as experience. but it may also seen it as time wasting as you might leave out the job opportunities that u have at that moment..
So, frens... if you really found yourself in stage three.. do be rational and really think of can you still bear with it and have courage to make the move.. Take a step ahead!
Wishing everyone have a satisfying job on hand... I wish i am too..
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