Have been some time do not have this strong kind of feeling for blogging at this time. I guess the happenings around, the feelings and no attractions from the bed and the television that caught my attention away but to log in here to jot my words..
Feeling the blog should be untitle.. as i do not have the major topic i am writing about.. but jus about feelings. The feelings tonight seem to be silent, peaceful,relaxing and cooling!
Feeling sad.. feeling miss.. A close friend which our friendship have some cracks a year ago.. recently we solve and mend the hole.. but the time is short that it is time to say goodbye.. tomorrow she will be leaving, leaving for 3 years.. and we just met and bid farewell to each other. Although knowing that we will still keep in touch.. But there is realy a miss feeling. dunno why! Argh.. jus hate the feeling.
Maybe as grow older..i learn to appreciate relationship better. Feel that relationship cant be replace with any value. but only the value of heart. Trustworthy, concern, comfort and believe need so much time to built but cracks in relationship just need an accident or a single moment. But how many people really know or really believe in it. Sometimes jus feel maybe i believing myself or i will say i believe or trusting in a wrong way or time. I feel i am appreaciating more and more.. but people around me are making me lost of hopes!!!
I need the faith on me to continue believing.. One by one people leaving and one by one people who can be talk missing from the sight. Sometimes it feel that no longer want to talk more.But the thing to be proud, i guess i make big advancement by being enough positive. No longer crying alone, no longer waiting and looking forward for hopes.. But learnt accept it in the way it comes and tell myself about the fate of today and the changes that i must learn to accept and grow with!
Life seem better.. no more burden of desperate feeling.
But in the future, i can foresee myself standing very behind.. so far from others.. guess because i am more to a sentimental person who believe more in feeling rather than being ambitious. People at my age, all having plans for the future, all motivating themselves to earn more, to built a strong future and a strong financial. but the little mind of me.. still enjoying playing up and down, hide and seek. Not thinking further but jus work for the environment and the situation that i need to. Or searching for the experiences and things that i should learn and brush my skills on.. to be more educated in that field.
Perceptions, mind thinking.. getting more and more different from the others.. Feeling more and more akward to myself from the others. Is it the matter of myself being different or i am not up to the level.. Haha.. but i do not hope myself to be that way. Cause i guess people seem fighting for what they want, going ahead, but miss out the importance of living. But it is all depending on what is important in each life.. Someone find love, someone find money.. someone may find reputation, and someone may find abstract..hahaha.. But it much depend on how people define life.. how they want their life to be.. full of memories, full of happiness, full of gratitude, full of cherish moment or full of thigns to regret at the end of life!
Sooner i guess i will be a stranger. I am getting more and more not understand people ard me and how people not understand me. But sometimes it hurts so much when u found someone who really close with you, u found it seem so strange with him/her.. and it seem u no longer understand this person.. And this really make me in tears on the moment i found i no longer know this close friend of mine... i dun understand why i have tears.. but i did. the imporatnce that i see no longer be important to the others.. while the importance for the others i cant see the importance to me..
But i guess is the adapting process that i need to be in the society..
