Untitled

Have been some time do not have this strong kind of feeling for blogging at this time. I guess the happenings around, the feelings and no attractions from the bed and the television that caught my attention away but to log in here to jot my words..

Feeling the blog should be untitle.. as i do not have the major topic i am writing about.. but jus about feelings. The feelings tonight seem to be silent, peaceful,relaxing and cooling!

Feeling sad.. feeling miss.. A close friend which our friendship have some cracks a year ago.. recently we solve and mend the hole.. but the time is short that it is time to say goodbye.. tomorrow she will be leaving, leaving for 3 years.. and we just met and bid farewell to each other. Although knowing that we will still keep in touch.. But there is realy a miss feeling. dunno why! Argh.. jus hate the feeling.

Maybe as grow older..i learn to appreciate relationship better. Feel that relationship cant be replace with any value. but only the value of heart. Trustworthy, concern, comfort and believe need so much time to built but cracks in relationship just need an accident or a single moment. But how many people really know or really believe in it. Sometimes jus feel maybe i believing myself or i will say i believe or trusting in a wrong way or time. I feel i am appreaciating more and more.. but people around me are making me lost of hopes!!!

I need the faith on me to continue believing.. One by one people leaving and one by one people who can be talk missing from the sight. Sometimes it feel that no longer want to talk more.But the thing to be proud, i guess i make big advancement by being enough positive. No longer crying alone, no longer waiting and looking forward for hopes.. But learnt accept it in the way it comes and tell myself about the fate of today and the changes that i must learn to accept and grow with!

Life seem better.. no more burden of desperate feeling.

But in the future, i can foresee myself standing very behind.. so far from others.. guess because i am more to a sentimental person who believe more in feeling rather than being ambitious. People at my age, all having plans for the future, all motivating themselves to earn more, to built a strong future and a strong financial. but the little mind of me.. still enjoying playing up and down, hide and seek. Not thinking further but jus work for the environment and the situation that i need to. Or searching for the experiences and things that i should learn and brush my skills on.. to be more educated in that field.

Perceptions, mind thinking.. getting more and more different from the others.. Feeling more and more akward to myself from the others. Is it the matter of myself being different or i am not up to the level.. Haha.. but i do not hope myself to be that way. Cause i guess people seem fighting for what they want, going ahead, but miss out the importance of living. But it is all depending on what is important in each life.. Someone find love, someone find money.. someone may find reputation, and someone may find abstract..hahaha.. But it much depend on how people define life.. how they want their life to be.. full of memories, full of happiness, full of gratitude, full of cherish moment or full of thigns to regret at the end of life!

Sooner i guess i will be a stranger. I am getting more and more not understand people ard me and how people not understand me. But sometimes it hurts so much when u found someone who really close with you, u found it seem so strange with him/her.. and it seem u no longer understand this person.. And this really make me in tears on the moment i found i no longer know this close friend of mine... i dun understand why i have tears.. but i did. the imporatnce that i see no longer be important to the others.. while the importance for the others i cant see the importance to me..

But i guess is the adapting process that i need to be in the society..

Malaysia Food festival

It is amazing to see how they manage to built up a hut by using different variety of fruits. FRuits ground, fruits hut, fruits door and etc..

It is all about fruits

Pet tree

It is really a spoilt of mood.
A strong wind that blow the window and hit hardly which cause a 2 months plus old pet tree of mine missing and no longer to be seen. Searching up and downs, not even a single crack of glass i found.. but i just found nothing.. and the only thing i found is the left over! The left over of the phone strap from the bottle.

It sad and It really hurts me.. Jus a few seconds and it is missing. This morning i still having my sweet time watering the pet tree. I think i am really not into having pets.. It reminds me of having the hamster pet as a birthday gift.. and the hamster just died the night i bring it home. And now it happen once again.. Just a little pet tree, i dun even manage to take care of it.. and it just went missing.

A simple pet tree but yet it mean a lot to me. A pet tree that i bought and start keeping it as a habit to grow it when i was at a down period and a pet tree that i bought it together for a friend and see who grow better.. But it ended up sadly for me.. Maybe i really no longer suitable to take up anything as a pet. Just aS my aunt said.. the pet tree missing maybe it being some meaning behind that the pet tree is no longer suitable to be keep by me.

How sad it is!!! What it left!!!!

Problems.. virus spreading

There are so many close peoples around me that are in a dillemma recently. Feeling unhappy and sad but i just cannot get to help them with anything. Feel that am i being too busy that i have neglected them or i just didnt realize of that. I do not know. But i jus feel that i am helpless.. Seem that i cant help them with anything. Not even lending them my pair of ears. A simple sorry seem so little to say for so much.. Feeling pretty awful.

When we grow up we tend to have a bigger aspects of problems.. from life, love, works, relationship and responsibilities. Everyone may have their own problems that hardly to be resolve.

Some people look into problems with real positive attitude. Problems that is big can be small little tiny things that he/she can go through and being another happy real he/she and face life.

Some people have problems but they choose to hide it deep inside their heart, lock it and never reveal and pretend a happy go lucky person as they are.

Some people have problems, they cant find the solution but choose to run away from the situation, forget about the blues and then back to the reality.

Some peoples have problems, they choose to blurt everything out, release everything out to others although it does not help but it give comfort to the person at that moment.

Some peoples have problems, they choose to be alone, really think into the situation and make a decision. No matter the situation get better or not, it have a solution and gotta bear with the pros and cons.

Some people have problems, they tend to think very negatively, think that it is end of the world and nothing mean of worth living.

No matter what kind of peoples you are, how you deal with problems... Actually more of depending on how you look into the problems. Look at it at the bright side, look into it with no fear, and always look the problems from the other perspective of life, it will give another different view.

To all my dearest friends, just pray and hope that everyone will get to find a solution to their problems soon and free yourself from the dillemma. Cheer up to all of you. Jia you jia you jia you.

Face everything without fear, supports and lucks will always be with u gals....

Just something to share

This quote catch my mind and my attractions on this friday morning. Was sitting there quietly and waiting for the meeting.. and jus keep entertaining myself looking at the billboard.. and suddenly this quote sound like this poped up the screen...

"The guys take frienship like a football game, kicking it here and there but it never breaks, but the gals take friendship like a glass and it broken into pieces"

I do not know how true is there.. but i actually havent realize of that until i read across this quote.. And it seem to be pretty true and close to the reality.. Thats the different perception between the male and females in defining friendship and the importance of it.

A special day of the year 070707

Every year on this date will be a celebration since there these twins sis birthday.. but this year it mean much more.. when it come to such a special date where it fall on the year of 2007.. so we got this 070707.. Anyway, beside this twins it is also my ex hsemate bday.. Kidda found this special date have really lotsa people birthday..

Therefore this year, many couple had chosen this date as a wedding day. since it seem so special to be unforgettable.. While these twins also chosen their celebration to give themselves a holidays. So, cant get to have a birthday celebration with them on this date but postpone it. But do wish these three friends of mine to have their own happy and an unforgettable birtdhay on this date.

Somehow, for me this is a special day too.. It become special when my parents and bros and i decided to go for a movie together.. Actually it is jus a simple things. but it seem mean so much as my family rarely together to go sumwhere or do something.. especially during weekend we hardly see all at home where everyone is busy with their own outing.. But we suddenly came to a suggestion to take dad for Die hard 4 movie.. then bro jus said good idea and lets go along .. and most unbelievable, mum as usual wil not go no matter how hard we pressure or force her.. but i guess she also think it is a very good precious moment where the whole family is goin.. although she not interested at all with the movie.. she decided to come along. So, i guess today will be a very special day where our family get together for a movie.

Dedicated to my true friends

“The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that they can grow separately without growing apart.”

Out of the busy time

Everyone have their busy time.. Too eager into our works and our priorities with other things.. Neglected many of our close ones.. But once we slow down and have a look around us. We will found lotsa that we had lost.. and We will start to realize the importance of the lost and start appreciating..

I do not know.. but this three months when i am slowing down and dealing with a free an easy lifestyle.. i found i miss out a lots.. I saw lotsa things that have lost, the things i have neglected, i miss the peoples i have neglect and the change that i didnt realize. Besides me, i saw the reflection of others.. When peoples are busy with their works or things to do, busy with their priorities, we will slowly see the importance of time and the treasure of it..

Once a while, we should at least stop at the interception and look around, we may not realize how much we have lost until we slow down our movements and look around the pathway.

My dad is stronger than yours

An event that coincident join by me and friends in occasion of Father's Day at Sunway Lagoon organised by RedFm. A treasure hunt cum amazing race type of competition that participate by team of family members. Formation of a team by father (a must) mother, bros and sis and compete between each other families.. Out of 20 teams, there are 3 teams participate by my friends' families.. Wh and i didnt cause our families are not interested.. but Wh decided to give the others a surprise visit.

Besides giving a surprise visit, i guess both Wh and I have a great time there together.. It had been long ago we went to Sunway Lagoon.. And this time found sunway really change a lot.. the waterpark have been developed so well and expanded while the dry park had been smaller.. Both WH and I recall back our memories there very much. I jus remember we did went to Sunway together during our secondary school time when we are goin for Moffats or Westlife concert at the amphytheater.

That sunday we did enjoy ourselves with the rides, the suspension bridge and some join in session with the clue and the race with MS's families, ML's families and KY's families. But after all this do have a tired Sunday.. I guess our age does matter.. Just simply running up and downs.. and i ended up have muscle and body pain for two days..

Anyway, i guess the event ended up successfully and congrats to my friends' families that they did a great job and most important i am so happy for all of them to have a good time there with their families and enjoying the process of the competition. Although all of them had a tired day but they definately have a good memories along the day.

My dreams

Last night was feeling hot once again, not sleeping on my very comfortable bed but I rather prefer on the floor.. cause feel much more cooling..over the night not really have a good and tight sleep.. Cause I was rang up by mum call to unlock the doors for her middle of the night.. so I gotta drag myself all the way out of my bedroom and went down. After that, I was too tired to speak more, and I quickly drag myself back to my room and continue sleeping.. and it did…

And next I start dreaming.. The dream came and go pretty fast.. Jus a few seconds.. In the dream,,, I am back to the school time.. In my school uniforms.. CPRians school time… I dunno in the dream I am in which forms or which class.. But it pretty look like the form four or form five time.. And I do not see much peoples.. I first enter the class… It is the usual class arrangements of chairs and tables.. the two seats type of arrangement, the tradition type.. suddenly remind me of SAB class arrangement.. it is up to the students interest.. still remember those weird weird arrangement we make in lower forms.. and also some classes with curve table arrangements in the class.. well it is fun though and not so boring with those two seats tradition arrangements.. and the whole class jus as seem to have about 20+ pupils..

Well, I dream as the usual me.. never sitting still in the class cause I see myself running back to my seats from somewhere. And Cant remember who sat besides me.. erm.. look like ML and it is the corner and back seat at the left corner of the class.. and one rare thing was I didn’t met any old classmates in the dream even all my bestmates… I didn’t see any of them in the dream but I know they are there.. and only one person I see clearly and talk to in the dream.. and that’s Pei Shi.. she sat right behind me. And in the reality I had never been in the same class with her.. Even in form four and five, we are just neighbour classmate.. This dream make me think of her.. dunno what she had been doin recently.. I wonder.. After form five I have never seen her.. but she still call me once in a blue moon.. I remember.. but not now.. Hmm.. really a long time we didn’t keep in touch.. Dunno why will dream of her. Maybe it hinted that I should rang her up one day.

A very sweet and simple person impression that she gave me.. Someone who I not really close too.. but a very nice person who will walk with me and chats with me at the school compound when she realize that I am alone. Really such a nice friend that I miss… Hope you are doin fine out there.. and have a bright future….

Opps.. Jus want a shout out: My 100 posts.. wakakaka...

Come and Go

After reading her blog, make me feel like blogging this here. There are many moments people came in and out in our life. People came in our life unexpectedly; we go thru the moments in our life by knowing and meeting more and more peoples. Among the crowd, we may find peoples who are in the same channels, get along well with us, peoples who we can share a lot of things with, peoples we can talk to, peoples we can care and love, and be love unconditionally. When the time and place is right at the moment, we will be enjoying the moments we have with the peoples we meet, but once the moments past, it is the time that we are missing it and the heart feel so soury to think about it. We gotta learn to let go although this moments will be a difficult to go thru…. Especially when we need to bid farewell to those who is so kind and treating us so well.. and hardly to meet once in a while and again…

* New peoples are easy to meet but a true person is hardly to meet… Once in a while, we will realize that the old shoes fits better and much more comfortable, appreciate each of the person u have meet in your lifetime *

Hopes???

A day of tomorrow.. I pretty not sure.. Shall i go with hopes or not.. Sometimes i blame myself for not giving perfectly and not performing the best i am.. Interviews.. i really have gone to many recently.. from unknown company to these days multinational company.. From i have hopes till i am hopeless about food industry.. From i need someone to talk too till i have none. From a confidence person till i tell myself till i give up and tell myself stop believing.. From the hopes i have till one by one i found is diminish..

I am afraid of having hopes recently.. no matter in job hunting or anything.. Cause it seem that all my hopes dashed in every single thing.. and i am pretty upset.. Upset and upset again..

How much the heart feel, how much it has to be kept.. and these few days finally found the positive way to go thru this moments. Thinking more positively is the way i can to make myself feel much better.

I dunno what will happen tomorrow.. Can i still be as positive as today.. i wish i could.. Brand new day with brand new hopes!!!

To live by them

“As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.”

Words are easy to be say but difficult to work out as said. Words of appreciation glad to hear, sweet to hear but words is words.. and how much will words turn to works.... to believe in unpredictable and unreliable words or the entire reality. Reality........... making me wonder how much truth is there...

Memories...

Visit Malaysia 2007Eye On Malaysia..

I have not take the opportunity to really go for a ride on the Eye on Malaysia since it was built in January until she suggested. But is true, It just built there for a year, so should really take this opportunity to go for a ride. It was known as Eye on Malaysia but is true that i do feel the view from the top does not really give an impressive view of Malaysia, I would comment as not much to be seen.. I guess at least the view from the KL tower will be much better and more to look for.. Probably it is because the location of the Eye on Malaysia. Hmm.. no idea. Jus more of a lake view. BUt what impress me is not about the city night view but is the solid, stable and comfortable ferris wheel i have ever ride on. Although, i pretty afraid of height kind of person but the trick was riding on ferris wheel, I can be very calm.. Ha ha.. Dunno why, but if it is a roller coaster or anything else.. YOu can see that i will be staying pretty far from that..

Have a nice trip with this two good friends of mine. Have an enjoyable moments with them that entire night and our own creation of suspension on that ferris wheel ride which make the ride more exciting and interesting.. Thought of it, give me a big smile!!

Emotional ups and downs

Going through this emotional ups and downs so frequently recently. Sometimes, easily i can be very happy and in the next few seconds i can be very sad and unhappy. People came in and out.. Last minutes incidents, last minutes break news and last minutes happening... Pretty much to catch up and act wisely at the moments.

Dealing with hopes and faith.. I see they lost their way. but are they really bouncing back ?? what i see ? is it a reality or just a dream. Do not want hopes that is not real.... I am afraid i cant bear with the dissapointments once again.

FBL

“Hope is important because it can make the present moment less difficult to bear. If we believe that tomorrow will be better, we can bear a hardship today"

The ups and downs in the present, the soury feeling and the undesirable feeling.. need hope to give faith to bear with it.. by cheering the ups to get thru the downs... Does hope really good enough to bear with? Hope may give you more expectation.. never hope never expect.. bear with the reality is better that rely on hope that will be draggy enough to pull u down from the top...

Continue

"Do not hide yourself, and keep living in the past.. Past is always a past.. The merry and joy always bury in the memorable memories. What you have and can be done in the reality and present is the most appreciated things that you can treasure thru the times goes by. Stop thinking, stop the tears but start moving... " Aya

March 9th (3 月 9 日)

A very nice song that i like from One litre Of Tears
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ir7oziQMV48

nagareru kisetsu no mannaka de
futo hi no nagasa wo kanjimasu
sewashiku sugiru hibi no naka ni
watashi to anata de yume wo egaku
in the midst of flowing seasons,
I suddenly feel the length of the days
in the midst of passing restless days,
you and I are painting our dreams

sangatsu no kaze ni omoi wo nosete
sakura no tsubomi wa haru e to tsudzukimasu
place our feelings in the wind of March
where the sakura blossoms are going towards spring

afuredasu hikari no tsubu ga
sukoshizutsu asa wo atatamemasu
ookina akubi wo shita ato ni
sukoshi tereteru anata no yoko de
grains of light are overflowing,
bit by bit, starting to warm the morning
and after a big yawn,
i’m feeling a bit awkward by your side

arata na sekai no iriguchi ni tachi
kidzuita koto wa hitori ja nai tte koto
standing at the door to a new world,
what I realized is that I’m not alone

hitomi wo tojireba anata ga
mabuta no ura ni iru koto de
dore hodo tsuyoku nareta deshou
anata ni totte watashi mo, sou de aritai…
if i close my eyes, you are
always behind my eyelids
isn’t that what made me stronger?
I, too, want to be like that for you…

suna bokori hakobu tsumoji kaze
sentakumono ni karamarimasu ga
hiru mae no sora no shiroi tsuki wa
nanda ka kirei de mitoremashita
the dust-carrying whirlwinds
are entangling the laundry
but the white moon before the noon sky
was so beautiful that I’m fascinated

umaku wa ikanu koto mo aru keredo
ten wo oogeba sore sae chiisakute
there are things that didn’t go well, but
compared to the sky, they seem so small

aoi sora wa rin to sunde
hitsuji kumo wa shizuka ni yureru
hana saku wo matsu yorokobi wo
wakachi aeru no de areba, sore wa shiawase
the blue sky, by the moment
the fluffy clouds are swaying quietly
the pleasure of waiting for the blooming petals,
if we can share it, then that’s a blessing

kono saki mo tonari de, sotto hohoende…
from now on, smile gently beside me…

hitomi wo tojireba anata ga
mabuta no ura ni iru koto de
dore hodo tsuyoku nareta deshou
anata ni totte watashi mo, sou de aritai…
if i close my eyes, you are
always behind my eyelids
isn’t that what made me stronger?
I, too, want to be like that for you...

Buddies at CAF

The younger generation of CAF

People i work with.. People i complain with.. People i struggle with.....

Pictures of my last day of work (19th of March 2007)

A great accompany throughout the 6 months...

Movies

Recently there are not many nice movies this month but there are two comedy that attracts my attention. That's Mr. Bean Holidays and Just Follow the Law.. Really plan to watch these both movies.. but too bad till now, i have not have the opportunity to watch it yet... And i wonder, the movies now is mark with esterich ady.. and maybe later it will stop showing ady... Aiks.. Sometimes really thought of going movie alone... But my last experience of movie alone.. Like a sopo.. but that time was a tragedy and sad movie.. This is a comedy movie maybe not too bad.. but my bro told me about a guy who go for the movie alone and sat beside him, laugh on his own.. and seem like so crazy.. Adn it pull me back.. Argh..... Look like probably ended up on DVds.. Haih.....

By the way, if compare these both movies... heard the votes for Just Follow Law is much higher and more supportive... Hmmm.. dunno....

Day for praying..

Qing Ming,

One of the Chinese yearly occasion, youngs, adults and the old folks.. Go praying at the cemetery. As usual, my family always does this occasion after the actual day to avoid the hectic jam and crowds.. But this year we met the crowd.. and stuck in the jam. Guess everyone is praying a weekend later to prevent the hectic jam. But turn up unexpectedly!

This year Qing Ming turns out to be a good day of get together. At each of the graveyards we went, we spent a longer time there this year, all was busy doing the cleaning, grass cutting, painting, praying, serving the food and burning the materials. And the olds and adults start to teach the younger generation about the tradition of praying, recognizing the cemetery of our ancestors. At least grandma did not grumble or complain we come back early.. as in we caught in the jam and we took approximate 4 hours to accomplish the process.

But very weird thinking I have every year at this time, maybe I have see my grandpa condition as very critical. Really hate myself to have this type of thinking. Dunno since when,, after every year of Qing Ming, I had always afraid that I will need to pray my Grandpa next year on these day.. but, of course please touch wood and crossed my fingers.. saying no for that..

Dedication to grandpa,

It has been 3 years you surviving in the condition you are now. We glad we still have you around these days with us. We should be grateful..

But it was pain and hurt enough to see the condition you are nowadays. You was a strong man before and now you dun even have energy to stand or walk on ur own nor to eat or speak your mind of to us. Everyday we can only able to serve you the best with meals, a lazy chair for laying down. Seeing you eating so many medicine just to prolong your life and not enjoying every moments of your life.. really make us wonder are we doing the correct thing..

Sometimes I feel really useless. Cause really nothing I can do for you.. A least before this, when u are in pain, I can drive you to the doctor. When u complain of your legs , can get you some massagers. When u need help, u will voice it out.. But now.. really nothing I can do more.. Sometimes, you dun even recognize me or even wan to open your eye to see us or to talk to us. Sometimes, really really hope u know what we trying to talk to you..

I still remember last year during my convocation day, I kneel in front of you telling you that I finally graduated from the university. You didn’t give me any reaction and I dunno whether you know about it or not. But in my heart I really hope you know. Cause still fresh in mind, the first day I pack my stuffs and ready to go off to register to the university, you still in good health and you walk to me, give me a two hundreds dollars to buy things I needed and reminded me to study hard. I am really touched and I promise myself on my day of graduation I will take my grandma and grandpa together with me. But unfortunately, after a short period of this, on my day of graduation he no longer can walk or even know what really happening around him. Sometimes he does and sometimes he does not. And of course the promise cannot be fulfill and it is a regrets.

But at least, sometimes the condition does not be so bad.. as we consider u can recognize or know whats going on, when u give us a simple smile. And of course I hope that u always will..

Stages of working adaption

Went to some sort of a talk. Not much inspiration that i get.. But there is one thing i found was quite correct.. Is what the someone told me about the stages of working adaption. In the working cycle..

First Stage :
When you first join in a company... You will never think of you will be leaving or resigning.. You think of you have a new life, new environment and new challenge to go through in your future.

Second Stage :
After joining some time, you start to found something that u dislike and uncomfortable with the company. U start to be a bit miserable.. but you still look for the future prospect you have in this company, looking forward that it might be a changes at some time. And you still can deal with the dislikes and uncomfort issue there.

Third Stage :
You start to feel that the future prospect and the positive wit the company does not really hold your motivation to stayed on with the company.. you start to realize nothing much u can learn from there..you wille have less and less motivation, start to feel grey with the company.. At this stage, you will either still working day by day just to survive for the sake of the needs to work and do not work extra or have initiative to work more for the company. Or you start to think of it may be a time for a change of job.. You start to consider for a resignation..

Fourth Stage :
The last stage or the ultimate stage, where you reach the maximum.. You no longer can stand or stay with the company. The Stage you really want a resignation to release yourself.. and at this stage you should have the resignation letter on your hand and deciding when is your last commenment date.

I found that this four stage of working adaption really true as in i go thru myself. We maybe struggling as we might not want to quit in an early stage although we see there is something wrong.. most of the tiem we would try to struggle on, move on cause we do not want to declare that we lose or not trying to fight it thru.

But i the other way, we try to struggle on to gain more experience and a better record of your resume for the next job hunting.. BUT.. if we keep on struggling in something that u learn nothing, although we get a longer period of working experience.. but in your next job hunting or during your interviewing.. people see it as nothing.. people see it as a waste..

So i found when u believe in struggling for a longer period .. it might not seem to be as true as what u believe.. Time is precious.. The time that u spent struggling in the company.. you may seen it as experience. but it may also seen it as time wasting as you might leave out the job opportunities that u have at that moment..

So, frens... if you really found yourself in stage three.. do be rational and really think of can you still bear with it and have courage to make the move.. Take a step ahead!

Wishing everyone have a satisfying job on hand... I wish i am too..

Fate and faith

When the fate arrive, we didnt fight thru it.. Most of the time, we obey it..

We go thru with faith but still..

At the end.. we lost our faith on it..

And there's goes our hopes... Gone as well...

Kind old man

He is an old man.. but still strong in his physical. From his look, he probably aged ard 60+. Working hardly everyday from monday till saturday. He can be as fit as a young man. One thing to be proud.. he is earning each cents with his sweats and energy. Working everyday without any holidays. Even he has tonnes of annual leave but he didnt want to take it to spent holidays with his family every year. For a company to have this kind of worker who really work very hard for the company really rarely seen nowadays. But somehow his hard work only can be seen but was not really appreciated.

Everyday he work non-stop , the time he start to work, we might still have our dreams on our sweet bed. Every morning, straining KGs of coconut meat, KGs of juice he need to produce and KGs of pandan juice he need to produce on time. It does not seem as easy as seen and he is savings each cents he earn for the good of the grand daughter to have a better living. He is really like those poor old man we read or we heard about old man who really work hard and this kind old man really work till he lost his finger print. Every day he has difficulties in putting his finger print on the finger tec machine.

The first time i approach this old man.. trying to communicate with his prefer chinese language.. but the old man sort of hinting to me, i better talk to him with my usual language then struggling hard to talk his prefer language. Really feel embarassed.

My first impression on him, he is someone doesn't care much of what happening.. but know his responsibilities and make sure everyday he finished up what he need to do and thats it! But one thing about this old man, the way he work and the work he do.. we hardly find anyone that can replace what he does everyday. His outlook was everyday in a messy shirt and long pants which is wet and dirty and smell of coconut. We might have the feeling of he is dirty everyday.. and yes he is. But he has never care what people think about him or might stay away from him. He jus do the thing he think is correct and what he need to do.


But we can never underjudge his kindness, although he is someone never care what had happening. A fine day that i saw this old man climb in a big garbage bin which situated at garbage area for housing area type ( it mean those big type and deep though).He climb in there jus to help me to find out a particular small thing. He didnt hesitate at all when he found that me and my colleague hardly digging in the rubbish bin .. but trying his best to dig in and out of the garbage in the bin. Even though i give up of searching the thing i need, but he still insist of searching it. Although at the end, the three of us cant find the thing i need and i will get the blame from my superior.. but at that moment everything is not important.. I mean the blame, the scolding, the dirtiness and the smell.. but i get so touch with this old man.. and i feel so much guilt on me because of me, this old man need to climb in the garbage bin and dig the garbage out with us for nothing we can get. Under the hot sun for about half an hour he need to go thru all this just to help me.

Never know i will meet up this kind of old man in this kind of situation where you have never think of there will be anyone to raelly go thru that with you.

A simple thanks seem so little to say for so much!!!

Psychologist saying!

Something to share here:

Psychologist said :

For a person to behave in good manner and patient, bear in mind...
" Do not voice out more than three words when you are out of mood, in anger or frustration"

This is because when we are in frustration, out of mood and in anger, we are sort of out of mind. We will not be rational enough to justify each and every words that come out from our conversation. From this, the more words we say, the more words, that it can hurt ur opponents or the words that is sensitive and not right to be said at that moment. so the best way is do not voice out more than 3 words, jus be silent and cool ourselves down.. Until we are cool down and we will only be rational and justify what shall be talk and not.A good action to avoid we hurting our friends, family or the person we are talking too and close with.

Song of the day

Early morning.. not really in the mood to work..
But jus feel tired and not really have a big smile on face..
As usual start my routine.. pass through the area i hated the most..
and here the noise started.. Ignoring it is the best way.. and I did it..
No matter how much ppl tease and condemning .. i jus ignore and go my way..
And next the 20 minutes talk in boss room... And finally i am OUT..
the long face i have..
Straight down and head towards my office.. to get the peace i need..

And here the song lighted up the mood of the day.. At least heal some of the tension, frust and fire burning deep inside the heart....

Colleague was funny and make the room at least in a peace and a place to really laugh our heart out and cheer up each other..

He play a song.. i dunno who is the singer nor the song title.. but i gues it is a familiar song.. What make the situation better and caught off the stress feeling is the song lyrics and repeated as..
" O oh.. You in trouble...... bla bla bla" He keep on repeated the song and say it is my song.. cause i was jus in the situation of " O oh Puiyin in trouble" Of all the tensed.. I was relief and burst to laugh and smile.. Cant stand what my colleague doing.. but wat make me laugh even more.. after i settle down with my frust and concentrate with my work.. is his turn to be in trouble with boss.. and this tiem my time to keep on playing the song to him..

Of all the frustration it is good to have this song to light up and calm ourselves down.. and ended with a laughing environment.. Although the end is still need to face back to the reality but at least a break from it..

Past, Present, Future

Past, Present and Future..

Three different phrase of time that we wil have in our life.

PAst.. Whatever in past is past.. Will remain as memories in our mind. Days in our young years.. Days that we may not be mature enough to justify.. Regrets or proud that we have! Things that we might do or not do now. Memories tat we wil keep in written notes or pictures that buries deep down the heart.

Present... What we are doing at this moment.. Doing day by day.. Changing our mind now and then.

Future... The journey we looking ahead in our life. WE always have hopes and wish for future.. Thinking so much for it.. and hoping to get into what we wish and hope and trying hard to achieve what we want by being more and more hardworking..

Every now and then.. most of the time.. people keep looking back. Take a glance back what people had done in the past.. And planning and planning wat we need to do to achieve the future of what we want. The Present.. People always neglect the present.. Neglect the importance of the present.. by too concentrating on the past and future.. Present is actualy as importance as the past and the future.. Wat people goin thru presently.. Is wat people should concentrate and treasure the present though is sweet or bitter.

Weird dreams

Throughout the week, or after the frustating weeks. which get me having these dreams..
The first dream, is the early of the week.. i guess is somewhere tuesday or wednesday where i dream of a morning where i only wake up at 11+am.. Having a good time of brunch and chatting wit my grandma in the living room.. Suddenly i stare at the clock.. and It struck 12pm.. And m mind suddenly ring me up. I was like "Shit i forget to go to work today, today not Sunday but the normal working day. HOw come.. i was this late to work.. and not even my grandma wake me up or remind me that i was late to work.. i GEt a shocked... i didnt inform my GM and not even my colleague.. I get so anxious and asking myself what excuses i need to give my manager regarding my absence from work in the morning.." and towards all this worries.. i am finally awake from sleep and realize i was still on the bed in the midnite.

Then the same weeks.. few days ago.. i dream of i have resign from my current job.. and i am now working at other country, a new factory which also a food industry which is much more clean and more organise.. And i feel so thankful.. but I am so sad that i am a stranger there.. No one i know or even there to help or wanted to talk to me.. And i am wandering on the road dunno which direction i should go at the end of the dream.

REallly feeling so weird for having these kind of dreams in jus few days of the week.. Dunno whether this indicate how reluctant i am to wat today work.. or it is a pressure or it indicate how dislike i am with my current company.. REally no idea..

Unlucky week

Finally the unlucky week going to past...
This week seem so unlucky yet so bad luck..
All started in the early of the week, on the early morning of tues.. as usual going to work in my little car.. as usual the main road was busy with cars but not really jam but a smooth drive. Just turn out from the corner of my house to the main road, pass by the petrol station and driving in the left lane, there is always some driver like to stop half way in the road so sudden to drp off.. as Malaysian alwasy have this habit.. never doubt sometimes i does it too.. but this stupid driver really stupid.. She jus cant stop at the side wehre there is the bus stop but stop in the middle.. And of all the driver didnt put on the signal light earlier..

I was coming from the back.. suddenly saw the signal light from the front car and she stop. trying to go to the right lane to cut off.. but i cant cause the right lane car was so fast.. and i ahve no choice but make a stop to wait till the woman drop off.. and while waiting suddenly a 'BANG' from behind.. DAMn! my car was BANg to move forward and it is a big impact from the back.. I was shock and it was.. SHIT!! then i gotta move to the side a bit so that not blosking the road.. and.. here come "THE RECKLESS AND IRRESPONSIBLE DRIVER" THE STUPID WAJA JUS DRIVE OFF.. i havent manage to come down from my car and look at his plat number .. and he jus drive off.. HE REALLY SUCH AN IDIOT!

And of all.. i was in anger... and the front car quickly drive off as well when she saw the incident... I was like numb and really sad to see how irresponsible people is.. And when i see my car it is more sad.. to see the bumper drop off, injured, plat number broken and the site lamp broken. Mood really turn down and not in teh mood to work.. SMs my boss telling him i may take emergency half day off and will back after settle.. to my surprise he call me up and his conversation was 'WHERE ARE U?" For a normal people.. maybe they will not feel anything.. but for ppl who understand my boss well.. he call is actually to check am i really meet with accident or jus cheating.. cause he is a suspicious person who never believe ppl especialy when his workers take emergency leave.. he always teach his staff. whenever in emergency leave must ask wat happen and call to check is true or not. sigh!! Sigh who so free to create story like this... Hai.. so no mood to go back work geh that day.. But after sent car to mechanic, i still back to work to face that suspicious boss.. Aih!!!

Well.. there goes my unlucky Tues, then on Wed this time.. mum hit a car due his leg loose from the brake.. luckily it is jus mild hit.. and both car not injured.. and she jus get scolded from the opposite..

Thurs came... this time.. an accident happen again.. It strike my dad this time. Dad was driving his bus that afternoon making a turning.. and a stupid motorist try to speed up and cut off my dad.... but during the cornering where he have no place to turn adn lost balance fall down adn roll over at the road. Another irresponsible motorist.. he speed and drive so dangerous but he never thought of the young kid behind him.. When my dad saw the accident.. he stop adn other outsider first thought that he hit the motorist.. that stupid motorist also blame my dad for knocking him down.. when dad settle with him, outsider step in and scold my dad blaming him knowck the kid and yound man down.. My dad was so innocent.. but he jus feel so pityful to see the young kid bleeding and the motorist also hurt so badly.. so to make everything easier my dad jus gave them some money.. so that they can go see doctor. There is no pity for the mtorsit who drive so carelessly.. but to the young kid is really pity.. he roll over the road.. jus hope that he is ok and didnt have inner injury..

Thats why this is really an unlucky week.. i met with an accident following by my mum and then my dad.. What is this!! What an unlucky and bad week my family had!!! Wishing that all the bad go off and the goods in return!!

Blogging

I am back finally..

Really have been away for quite some time.. Away for some time.. and here i am back with many to blog.. Really have many things wish to blog.. but is really busy and no time for blogging or goes online..

Some how jus grab some little time to come in here and drop few words or do some blogging.. Buts!!! i am now yawning.. GOD.. Wat a day.. so sleepy at this time really unbelievable.. jus 8+pm. and i am so in need of bed.. Argh.. cant.. must struggle a bit.. or else it will be a miss..

Whoah..ah.. Aiks.. really really sleepy.. how come how come..!!!!