Nightmare

SLeeping time.. long time time i dun have any dreams.. due to not enough time for sleeping and exhaustion.. so normally once i dozes off and thats it.. but this two nights... Jus having dreams.. not good dream but nightmare.. on tues nite.. Sleep around 2+am. but after i dozed off a while and i dreamt!! i dream off i lose my friend laptop.. i really stunt.. cause the dream is so true that i do ask myself am i dreaming in the dream.. and i was told by myself that i am not dreaming.. i really lost my frens laptop because of of careless to put in my car.. and why i am having the laptop with me also because i call my friend to bring along.. in the dream when i know i am not dreaming.. i feel so much guilt on me.. and i really dunno how to apologize or get back all the stuff in the laptop for her..i feeel really really sorry but dunno what i can do cause nothing can replace back this precious thing of her!! and finally i am awake and i asking myself again i am dreaming right!! i asking myself many Qs... and making sure that it is a dream as i didnt have my friend laptop with me and i didnt lost it... Fuh~

Then came yesterday nite.. was very tired.. sleep quite early but later on i was awake by few phone calls.. and i online till 1+am i guess.. and really terrible.. i dream again... and it was nightmare again.. gosh.. this time.. it is worst.. dunno how that i am with my group of friends after yumcha on the way back home.. but i went to the wrong pathway.. so i gotta back alone.. but funny was in the dream i am not driving a car but a motorcycle.. i driving along a small, dark and quiet road.. and suddenly there is this big fat malay woman behind me.. she jus keep folllowing at the back.. i feel so strange i try to run away from her.. but i cant.. then from driving motorcycle..dunno why i am jus walking.. and i getting more slow... slow and slower till i getting more and more curious and sweating + nervous.. but before i am able to say anything.. the big fat woman jus came approach nearer and the last few words i heard from her was.. 'itulah siapa suruh jalan seorang' and she jus take out a sharp and long knife and push forward towards my back.. and then i am hurt and she jus continue as she wanna take revenge on me and chopped me into pieces.. that time i jus feel so much and pain and finaly i get kill by her.. when i realize i am dead.. and that is the time i awake.. i realize.. shit.. i had another terrible nightmare..and it is also around the same time. about 2+am again..there goes my night.. cant sleep well. and feel so much uneasy..

anyway really strange to have this kind of dreams.. but hopefully no more nightmare tonight... i am praying hard... i think i really need myself exhausted till no time to dream while sleping..Gosh!!!

Really dunno!!!

The things that i wan blog. i ended up didnt blog.. the things that i need to do now, i ended didnt do any now but came in to blog... Aiks.. really dunno why.. really not having the right mood to do the right thing. Blogging.. actually a way to express myself.. but sometime.. i jus thought of blogging may lead to think of many things.. dunno why i got this type of feeling.. Or maybe not blogging which cause the many thinking but jus the mind keep on thinking and the world keep on changing that cause people to keep on thinking many many things.

I suppose to be free and i suppose to be busy.. really dunno am i really busy or really free.. And things which should be doin and rush out.. but i am still doin nothing.. Aiks.. i really dunno what to do.. So many days have been like that... i really wonder.. Hmmm.. now i am planning to start doin at night.. hopefully i really can.. and i am really doin it.. Jus like this afternoon.. i plan doin it but ended up doin nothing.. Sigh~ hope the same incident do not happen again.... Praying hard tonight will start doin my work.. and i am really need to do it.....

Goin abstracting

"Good life starts only when you stop expecting and wanting a better ones"

God i guess i am into abstracting again... cause in my mind things that i think of and things that i wan to blog is really abstract... cause i am having a lot of question in my mind.. and the changes and happening made me think of the abstract thing.. i wonder why.. and i guess no one wil be able to tell me why unless i found the answer from what i going through.. Life is unpredictable and full of questions!!!!